Right now, my house is quiet except for the ticking of a clock, the occasional nail taps of Dixie moving about on the hardwood floor, and the sound of my typing. I have a pile of bills beside me, a lukewarm cup of decaf coffee in front of me, and a to-do list formulating in my brain. I'm on vacation, though, and I refuse to spend the entire week running about doing errands that keep me from doing some of what I love doing...writing...thinking...sitting...dreaming.
Life normally shuts most of that out...so today, I'm doing nothing else until I sit here and ponder life just a little bit. Except possibly get a refill on this coffee that is truly ridiculously colder than lukewarm if truth be told.
It is a few days before Christmas. Last night was a lunar eclipse, it is the first day of winter, and a vocal group from Alabama won the "Sing Off" on television last night. Friends of mine are making plans to go to Arizona for the National Championship Game next month, and others are racing around trying to finish up Christmas shopping. Some have plans to travel this Christmas, and others are content to cook and bake themselves into oblivion and welcome family and friends from afar into their homes. Some have new lives growing inside of them, and others are enjoying their first Christmas with their new babies. A few have deep fears about the future, and others are grateful for the news that the health concerns that have plagued them are improving with each passing day.
In other words...life is going on.
I know that most of the time we try to genuinely take time to reflect on the blessings in our life. Sometimes we fail at that because some big, hairy, awful something is looming over our lives. Wolves are at the door, or the unknown looks like some frightening nightmare that threatens to overtake us. We want resolution, comfort, or for the big something horrible to be reversed, eliminated, or blown to bits. We know that we are in a pit...or in a valley...and we begin to actually fear that we will never see the light again. It takes all of our strength...and the rest from God...just to put one foot in front of the other, plaster a smile on our face, and carry on the business of life. For those of you who are walking this rocky road this Christmas...I wish for you an extra measure of joy, love, and peace this holiday season. Before long, there will be a bend in the road, and you will see that all is well. Just keep walking.
Other times we look ahead and ponder the big decisions that we assume are still to be written in our stories. For young people it is...who we will marry, where we will live, what we will do, or what our purpose for drawing breath really is. Frankly, those questions aren't only limited to the young. Some people seem to instinctively know the answers to these questions, and others have to discover them after bitter disappointments, years in the wilderness, or trial and error. But the beauty of the journey is that all of us get some of it right...which enables us to forgive ourselves for those times that we don't...and gives us hope that all will eventually end well. So, if you are wondering if you have a purpose here...know that if you are breathing...the answer is "yes." Be open to possibilities, and just sit back and prepare for a miracle.
During Christmas, we honestly have the opportunity of making magic for others in a somewhat effortless way. We can toss coins into a kettle, pick an angel off of a tree, or speak words of healing into the life of someone who needs to hear them. We may send a card to someone who is lonely, choose a gift that reflects our love, or transport ourselves back to a simpler time and place through the aromas of Christmas baking and the sounds of Christmas carols playing on the radio. We have a little extra time to reflect on our temporal blessings...and our long term ones.
We can also start over if we have overindulged along with everyone else who will be packing the gyms in January. We can believe that all will be well, that peace is possible, and that love will conquer all. The New Year is right in front of us with all of its possibilities.
So, find a quiet time somewhere in the hustle and bustle of all that we know represents the holidays. Maybe it is sitting on your porch swing with a cup of hot chocolate and a thick blanket. Perhaps it is reading a book to a child or praying for the person who is to receive the gifts you are wrapping. Maybe it is ordering a goat through World Vision and imagining it arriving in some village in Africa or Indonesia to a family who will be blessed because of it. Or it may be that you get to embrace the people that you love that are all sleeping under your roof tonight.
Enjoy your holiday. Take in all of the sights, smells and sounds of the season. Celebrate the birthday of our Lord, and the oasis in the desert of "musts" that normally dominate our lives. Quiet your heart and let your spirit soar. Even if this year is one that you will remember as bittersweet somewhere down the road of life...try to remember that it sometimes takes the bittersweet to make us appreciate the carefree days and blessings that we often take for granted.
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Dirty Santa
Last night I had the privilege of hanging out with my coworkers for our annual branch Christmas party. It is always a lot of fun, and there is more bad food (which is actually good food that does bad things to your arteries) and a great deal of Christmas cheer to be had by all. The host home was decorated beautifully, and it was a very festive atmosphere. Never mind that I left my spinach dip I'd prepared in the refrigerator at work and had to fly into Publix at the last minute to get some of theirs and doll it up with some water chestnuts while apologizing profusely for being tardy.
Such is my life sometimes. At least I had the Fritos in the car. (And why is it that we call them Fritos? Because of the name of the company? That has always freaked me out.)
After eating until we had surpassed healthy levels, we all started that game that I love and hate simultaneously..."Dirty Santa." This game is aptly named because you think you're going to get something nice (Santa! Yay!)...and then someone will inevitably snatch it out from under you at the last minute...(thus the "Dirty.") For those of you who have neverendured ...um, played this particular game, well, let's just say that it can easily get off of the rails.
The rules generally involve setting a dollar limit ahead of time, and then drawing numbers for the order in which to choose a gift. The person with a "1" goes to the pile of gifts, chooses one, and unwraps it. The person with "2" and then subsequent numbers have the choice of getting a gift or "stealing" the gift that another person has unwrapped. This goes on until all of the numbers are exhausted and often the person who drew first has the option to choose among all of the "unretired" available gifts. A gift is typically retired after three "steals." This "limited steals" policy is to prevent fistfights, bad blood, or the involvement of law enforcement over a $10 Applebee's gift card or a blue velvet pillow with silver tassels.
Been there. Seen that. Not really. But almost.
Some people tend to do very well with this game. They see it for what it is...an opportunity to get something cool, fun, or useful...but something that they could actually afford to go out and purchase for themselves. If they end up with the "gift that keeps on being regifted" they honestly do not care. In fact, Big Dave thrives off of the gifts that make you go "WHAT?" They're his favorite. Hardly surprising from a man that wears Christmas tee shirts around that house that are truly hideous while watching "Elf" three thousand times between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Others see it as a competitive sport replete with manuvering, late hits, and a "winner takes all" mentality. Never mind that we have to actually work, attend church, or live with the people we are supposed to be "in fellowship" with...the truly competitive have no qualms about going for the jugular over a $15 WalMart gift card.
Or...ahem...a silver Hallmark reindeer.
Yes, many moons ago, I was attending a Sunday School party with about thirty five couples, and we were playing "Dirty Santa" with ornaments. I thought that my chances of getting something I liked were pretty good as I had a late number, and most of the ornaments were lovely. So, I watched and waited patiently as about twenty-five couples unwrapped theirs and stole them back and forth. Sadly, we were about to run out of time, and just as our number came up, they changed the rules to disallow any "steals" beyond two. Well, the reindeer that I had my eye on had been stolen twice, but I had apparently missed one or the other. As I went to steal my beautiful reindeer...I was told that I needed to unwrap one of the ornaments instead. I did...and got possibly the only ornament that I didn't like.
To say that I didn't handle this well would be an understatement. It was too much for my poor little competitive nature to stand.
I did mention that this was at a Sunday School Christmas party, didn't I?
Needless to say, it was not a good experience. I was, however, able to locate the reindeer at the local Hallmark store the next day and he is currently on my tree. He's a little tarnished from his bright silver lustre through these past 22 or so years, but he is a reminder that people can change...for the better.
And, of course, that "Dirty Santa" needs to be avoided by the hyper-competitive.
Another year, I had a beautiful blanket taken from me at the last minute and I had no choice but to unwrap a gift. I got a skating pig toy. I'm so serious. I didn't handle that one particularly well either. I left it on the table and had someone bring it to me because they didn't realize I left it there so that I wouldn't smash it into a million pieces in front of everyone and stomp on it like some adult Veruka from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Yes, I have been known to channel my "inner Veruka." She's a real treat (not).
Those, of course, trumped by my first experience with a $2 gift limit during my Girl Scout days. I got a pair of No Nonsense pantyhose. I was so not impressed.
Oh, I've had a couple of good years where I've brought something home that I've enjoyed, and one specific time that people thought I was getting something not so great (a mini iron skillet). What they didn't know was that the skillet had a $25 gift certificate to a restaurant taped to it. I didn't know it either until after the game was over because I left it in the gift bag.
Boy, was that awesome.
And then there was last night. I got a gift that was fine, but was not what I wanted. Out of nine people, there were five gift cards. I managed to not get any of them. I had several of them for awhile, but as usual...I got stuck unwrapping the last gift under the tree and nobody wanted to swap with me.
Dang. But I'm happy to report that we didn't have to call the po-po, and everyone was still speaking this morning. So there's that. Plus, I came home, wrapped it up, and will be giving it to one of my kids for Christmas.
Rock on. Oh, don't judge me...they have a gazillion other presents anyway.
Anyway, I think that this game is a little like a microcosm of real life. We are all given an equal chance when we start out in life...and then we get a number. We're in the "blue" group or the "red" group...and then we keep moving along. We unwrap what is ours, and we look around to see if there is anything else that is better than what we have. Sometimes we want to "steal" it and then other times we are told that it is not possible...just like a retired gift. So, we keep playing the game...hoping for the best...and enjoying the process. The end result, though, may or may not be to our liking. How we handle that, though, honestly says a whole lot about us.
I suppose that after spending years of avoiding this game because it brought out the worst in me, I do have a few rules that might be helpful to keeping people from mauling each other over a Ho! Ho! Ho! doormat. I mean, with all of that emotion...I suppose it could happen.
1. If you participate, please buy a gift that is valued at whatever the agreed upon amount is. It makes me mad when the limit is $10 and someone tries to do a Scrooge and get something that is clearly worth less. The reason I care is because I will be the person who ends up with it, and I'd at least like to recoup my investment. It will also keep me from secretly hating your guts.
2. Try to remember that when someone is whining...they are emotionally attached to the gift. If you take it...you may draw back a nub. They may also remember it for the rest of their natural lives...and this is not good.
3. Just some advice...get excited about the one gift that nobody will like. That way...when they take it...you won't care. If you focus on something that you could actually use...they will inevitably take it and you will end up wanting to go all redneck on somebody.
4. It's just a game...not a contact sport. This is particularly important if you are everybody's "b-word" in this game and they take great joy in taking your stuff at every available opportunity.
Anyway, here's hoping that you enjoy your experience with this game immensely. Even though I hate it with every fiber of my being doesn't necessarily mean that you have to...and I hope that you don't. After all, it IS supposed to be fun.
Or so I've heard...
Such is my life sometimes. At least I had the Fritos in the car. (And why is it that we call them Fritos? Because of the name of the company? That has always freaked me out.)
After eating until we had surpassed healthy levels, we all started that game that I love and hate simultaneously..."Dirty Santa." This game is aptly named because you think you're going to get something nice (Santa! Yay!)...and then someone will inevitably snatch it out from under you at the last minute...(thus the "Dirty.") For those of you who have never
The rules generally involve setting a dollar limit ahead of time, and then drawing numbers for the order in which to choose a gift. The person with a "1" goes to the pile of gifts, chooses one, and unwraps it. The person with "2" and then subsequent numbers have the choice of getting a gift or "stealing" the gift that another person has unwrapped. This goes on until all of the numbers are exhausted and often the person who drew first has the option to choose among all of the "unretired" available gifts. A gift is typically retired after three "steals." This "limited steals" policy is to prevent fistfights, bad blood, or the involvement of law enforcement over a $10 Applebee's gift card or a blue velvet pillow with silver tassels.
Been there. Seen that. Not really. But almost.
Some people tend to do very well with this game. They see it for what it is...an opportunity to get something cool, fun, or useful...but something that they could actually afford to go out and purchase for themselves. If they end up with the "gift that keeps on being regifted" they honestly do not care. In fact, Big Dave thrives off of the gifts that make you go "WHAT?" They're his favorite. Hardly surprising from a man that wears Christmas tee shirts around that house that are truly hideous while watching "Elf" three thousand times between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Others see it as a competitive sport replete with manuvering, late hits, and a "winner takes all" mentality. Never mind that we have to actually work, attend church, or live with the people we are supposed to be "in fellowship" with...the truly competitive have no qualms about going for the jugular over a $15 WalMart gift card.
Or...ahem...a silver Hallmark reindeer.
Yes, many moons ago, I was attending a Sunday School party with about thirty five couples, and we were playing "Dirty Santa" with ornaments. I thought that my chances of getting something I liked were pretty good as I had a late number, and most of the ornaments were lovely. So, I watched and waited patiently as about twenty-five couples unwrapped theirs and stole them back and forth. Sadly, we were about to run out of time, and just as our number came up, they changed the rules to disallow any "steals" beyond two. Well, the reindeer that I had my eye on had been stolen twice, but I had apparently missed one or the other. As I went to steal my beautiful reindeer...I was told that I needed to unwrap one of the ornaments instead. I did...and got possibly the only ornament that I didn't like.
To say that I didn't handle this well would be an understatement. It was too much for my poor little competitive nature to stand.
I did mention that this was at a Sunday School Christmas party, didn't I?
Needless to say, it was not a good experience. I was, however, able to locate the reindeer at the local Hallmark store the next day and he is currently on my tree. He's a little tarnished from his bright silver lustre through these past 22 or so years, but he is a reminder that people can change...for the better.
And, of course, that "Dirty Santa" needs to be avoided by the hyper-competitive.
Another year, I had a beautiful blanket taken from me at the last minute and I had no choice but to unwrap a gift. I got a skating pig toy. I'm so serious. I didn't handle that one particularly well either. I left it on the table and had someone bring it to me because they didn't realize I left it there so that I wouldn't smash it into a million pieces in front of everyone and stomp on it like some adult Veruka from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Yes, I have been known to channel my "inner Veruka." She's a real treat (not).
Those, of course, trumped by my first experience with a $2 gift limit during my Girl Scout days. I got a pair of No Nonsense pantyhose. I was so not impressed.
Oh, I've had a couple of good years where I've brought something home that I've enjoyed, and one specific time that people thought I was getting something not so great (a mini iron skillet). What they didn't know was that the skillet had a $25 gift certificate to a restaurant taped to it. I didn't know it either until after the game was over because I left it in the gift bag.
Boy, was that awesome.
And then there was last night. I got a gift that was fine, but was not what I wanted. Out of nine people, there were five gift cards. I managed to not get any of them. I had several of them for awhile, but as usual...I got stuck unwrapping the last gift under the tree and nobody wanted to swap with me.
Dang. But I'm happy to report that we didn't have to call the po-po, and everyone was still speaking this morning. So there's that. Plus, I came home, wrapped it up, and will be giving it to one of my kids for Christmas.
Rock on. Oh, don't judge me...they have a gazillion other presents anyway.
Anyway, I think that this game is a little like a microcosm of real life. We are all given an equal chance when we start out in life...and then we get a number. We're in the "blue" group or the "red" group...and then we keep moving along. We unwrap what is ours, and we look around to see if there is anything else that is better than what we have. Sometimes we want to "steal" it and then other times we are told that it is not possible...just like a retired gift. So, we keep playing the game...hoping for the best...and enjoying the process. The end result, though, may or may not be to our liking. How we handle that, though, honestly says a whole lot about us.
I suppose that after spending years of avoiding this game because it brought out the worst in me, I do have a few rules that might be helpful to keeping people from mauling each other over a Ho! Ho! Ho! doormat. I mean, with all of that emotion...I suppose it could happen.
1. If you participate, please buy a gift that is valued at whatever the agreed upon amount is. It makes me mad when the limit is $10 and someone tries to do a Scrooge and get something that is clearly worth less. The reason I care is because I will be the person who ends up with it, and I'd at least like to recoup my investment. It will also keep me from secretly hating your guts.
2. Try to remember that when someone is whining...they are emotionally attached to the gift. If you take it...you may draw back a nub. They may also remember it for the rest of their natural lives...and this is not good.
3. Just some advice...get excited about the one gift that nobody will like. That way...when they take it...you won't care. If you focus on something that you could actually use...they will inevitably take it and you will end up wanting to go all redneck on somebody.
4. It's just a game...not a contact sport. This is particularly important if you are everybody's "b-word" in this game and they take great joy in taking your stuff at every available opportunity.
Anyway, here's hoping that you enjoy your experience with this game immensely. Even though I hate it with every fiber of my being doesn't necessarily mean that you have to...and I hope that you don't. After all, it IS supposed to be fun.
Or so I've heard...
Monday, December 13, 2010
Encouragement
I've been spending a lot of time making lists and checking them twice these days. With due respect to Saint Nicholas and his minions, I personally am obsessed with list-making as an antidote against my basic paranoia that I'm going to forget something crucial on Christmas morning. Like leave a gift languishing in a closet...unwrapped and forgotten...and realize that someone that I care about is thinking that I've intentionally overlooked them. In my family, those things tend to happen...and nobody will say anything about it at the time.
But they will later on...privately. Like, for decades.
Anyway, I've felt pretty good about getting everything done and actually having time to enjoy the holidays this year. I always prefer cold weather in December, and I certainly haven't been disappointed this year. Some years I've had to run the air conditioning just to keep from sweating while putting ornaments on the tree. I gave up on having a "white Christmas" years ago after realizing that if we actually DID get snow...it would shut down life as I know it. We don't do snow down here...like at all. We close our schools and more often than not...our power goes out. Heaven forbid that we even think about driving in it either.
A few minutes ago, I looked under the Christmas tree and saw way more gifts than I intended to buy...in spite of the fact that I have really not spent a tremendous amount of money, generally speaking. But a few people remain on my gift list...and continue to absolutely baffle me. I am hoping that I will have an epiphany while coasting through a store with a 30% off coupon in my hand, but the odds of that happening are about the same as me landing on the front of the Victoria's Secret catalog. Or quite frankly, being able to order anything myself anything from there other than cosmetics, slippers, or gift cards.
I suppose that I've been thinking about material gifts for so long...acquiring the right items, getting them in the mail, wrapping them, tagging them, (and in January...paying for them) that I honestly wish that there was some kind of clearinghouse for the kind of gifts that really mean a lot to me. Gifts that people sometimes give freely without even thinking about it because they don't realize the value of it to another person. And if you do actually dare to point them out...you are normally greeted with a blank stare and a denial that it was any big deal. I suppose that they fail to realize that most of us might be overfed physically...but emotionally...we are starving to death for a kind word, recognition that we have something to offer, or simply confirmation that what we bring to this party called "life" actually matters.
Because it is certainly easy to get the message that we don't matter at all. Especially if we have children.
I suppose I'd like to ask Santa to bring me an extra measure of encouragement this year. And I mean the "real" stuff...not the fake platitudes or the social niceties that all of us are prone to do in awkward situations. I mean...I hope that God will put the right people in my path to keep me from quitting when the going gets tough. I have a tendency to be a little bit like the Energizer bunny, but I don't normally have those nice little rechargeable batteries. I think I'm going to need those next year.
After putting my dreams on hold for many years, I'm realizing that the time has come for some of those dreams to be revived, defrosted, or nursed to health. It wasn't until fairly recently that I even realized that they were still on life-support.
And while I am becoming aware of my own dreams...I hope that I will speak up in those situations when someone else's accomplishments, courage, or creativity really inspire me. Sometimes I stop myself because I'm worried that people will think I'm nuts for saying anything. But who am I to do that? I hope that I won't really care what people think in the coming year. I need to speak up!
After all, one of the greatest gifts that we can give each other...at Christmas...or anytime...is the gift of encouragement. And the good news is...it is budget-friendly. Yet to the person receiving it...it can be more precious than gold. I mean...there IS no price on a word of encouragement aptly spoken. The results can be life-altering...and world-changing.
Works for me.
But they will later on...privately. Like, for decades.
Anyway, I've felt pretty good about getting everything done and actually having time to enjoy the holidays this year. I always prefer cold weather in December, and I certainly haven't been disappointed this year. Some years I've had to run the air conditioning just to keep from sweating while putting ornaments on the tree. I gave up on having a "white Christmas" years ago after realizing that if we actually DID get snow...it would shut down life as I know it. We don't do snow down here...like at all. We close our schools and more often than not...our power goes out. Heaven forbid that we even think about driving in it either.
A few minutes ago, I looked under the Christmas tree and saw way more gifts than I intended to buy...in spite of the fact that I have really not spent a tremendous amount of money, generally speaking. But a few people remain on my gift list...and continue to absolutely baffle me. I am hoping that I will have an epiphany while coasting through a store with a 30% off coupon in my hand, but the odds of that happening are about the same as me landing on the front of the Victoria's Secret catalog. Or quite frankly, being able to order anything myself anything from there other than cosmetics, slippers, or gift cards.
I suppose that I've been thinking about material gifts for so long...acquiring the right items, getting them in the mail, wrapping them, tagging them, (and in January...paying for them) that I honestly wish that there was some kind of clearinghouse for the kind of gifts that really mean a lot to me. Gifts that people sometimes give freely without even thinking about it because they don't realize the value of it to another person. And if you do actually dare to point them out...you are normally greeted with a blank stare and a denial that it was any big deal. I suppose that they fail to realize that most of us might be overfed physically...but emotionally...we are starving to death for a kind word, recognition that we have something to offer, or simply confirmation that what we bring to this party called "life" actually matters.
Because it is certainly easy to get the message that we don't matter at all. Especially if we have children.
I suppose I'd like to ask Santa to bring me an extra measure of encouragement this year. And I mean the "real" stuff...not the fake platitudes or the social niceties that all of us are prone to do in awkward situations. I mean...I hope that God will put the right people in my path to keep me from quitting when the going gets tough. I have a tendency to be a little bit like the Energizer bunny, but I don't normally have those nice little rechargeable batteries. I think I'm going to need those next year.
After putting my dreams on hold for many years, I'm realizing that the time has come for some of those dreams to be revived, defrosted, or nursed to health. It wasn't until fairly recently that I even realized that they were still on life-support.
And while I am becoming aware of my own dreams...I hope that I will speak up in those situations when someone else's accomplishments, courage, or creativity really inspire me. Sometimes I stop myself because I'm worried that people will think I'm nuts for saying anything. But who am I to do that? I hope that I won't really care what people think in the coming year. I need to speak up!
After all, one of the greatest gifts that we can give each other...at Christmas...or anytime...is the gift of encouragement. And the good news is...it is budget-friendly. Yet to the person receiving it...it can be more precious than gold. I mean...there IS no price on a word of encouragement aptly spoken. The results can be life-altering...and world-changing.
Works for me.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
What If We Didn't Celebrate Christmas?
It is a cold December morning is two weeks before Christmas. The gifts are inventoried on my list, most have been shipped from wherever I ordered them, and those that have arrived have already been wrapped, tagged, and placed under the tree. Oh, I realize that I'm a little bit too Martha Stewart about that for some people's taste, but I've had gifts languishing in a closet on Christmas morning because I didn't make my list and check it twice...and someone thought they'd been naughty, when in actuality, the reverse was true.
My Christmas decorations - acquired over the past twenty-five years of marriage - are covering every conceivable surface in my home, and there's an equal number in the attic waiting for my kids to move out on their own or for my tastes to change back to dancing bears or "early WalMart with a shade of ABC Distributing Company." I look at my tree with its more sophisticated ornaments (Jill insisted) and those of the past that passed her inspection, and I am delighted with this wonderful mix of past and present. The beautiful glass angel that a sweet friend gave me years ago, along with an ornament that has a handwritten note that I've never wanted to remove, and the reindeer that replaced one that someone stole from me in "Dirty Santa" at a Sunday School party years ago. (I was later banned from playing this game by Big Dave because my competitive nature overrode my good sense.)
I am pleased that we have a social calendar that includes an excellent mix of friends, family, and work associates. I've missed a couple of very important things this year, and I do regret that Baking Day did not happen. But I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to have something to look forward to, and am thrilled that I have people who care enough about me to have invited me in the first place.
It makes me wonder, though, what life would be like in December without the joy of the season to anticipate. If my belief system did not include the celebration of the birth of the tiny Christ child in a stable over two thousand years ago. If I had nothing to be grateful for, and nobody to look forward to seeing. If the time between the bookends of Thanksgiving and New Year's Day was completely devoid of all that I have come to know and love about the Christmas season.
Every year, I watch some version of "A Christmas Carol" and see Scrooge being transformed from a man of the world to a man of spirit. I believe that most of us have been blessed with some magic in our lives...and we see his transformation as reassurance that the magic is still out there...that it exists. People that we somehow believe will always be there for us...or traditions that seem to go on year after year until the next generation claims them as their own. At Christmas, we have time to reflect on our life after the one we are currently living, and we tend to have moments of clarity when we see that we should spend more time appreciating what we have. We see the wonder of the Santa Claus tradition in the eyes of the little people, and the joy in the eyes of someone who is opening a gift that we were able to give them out of our abundance.
I cannot imagine life without the Christmas cards that come into this house. To look at the faces of our sweet friends and their children, and we read the messages and even see the precious words that are written by those we love who are far away. I realized that I will mail two fewer cards this year than I did last year, and that thought saddens me. I suppose as time goes on, my list will continue to dwindle if everything remains the same. But I do so hope that the opposite will occur. That I will have a larger list because I've been blessed with more people who make up my past and my present.
When I hear the song "Silver Bells" - I always think of my mother, uncle, and aunt, who sing this song together...or at least did several times as I was growing up. I can be standing in the middle of Stein Mart, and if it comes on...I pause for a moment to think back. It isn't the only Christmas song that transports me, either. I suppose that's why I have little patience with what I call the "junk songs" of Christmas like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" or the one about the hippopotumus. I remember playing "What Child Is This?" on the piano at my grandmother's house because I could actually figure out a chord or two, and I rarely hear the "Hallelujah Chorus" without feeling my spirit being lifted. Tonight I am going to the cantata at our church. I know that people who are gifted singers cannot imagine my reluctance to attend these every year, but I have been anti-cantata for some inexplicable reason for as far back as I can now remember. Tonight - Lord willing - the cycle breaks. And I'll get to see my friend sing her heart out with an amazing choir and drama group.
I suppose that if we didn't celebrate Christmas, that void would be replaced with something else. We might have some other federally mandated holiday, or we would simply create something to mark the winter solstice. But I love the fact that we do have these weeks to celebrate the past, enjoy the present, and look ahead to the future. I love the knowledge that because He came...my future is secure. My current circumstances are but temporary afflictions or temporary joys. The blessings I now know are but pale reflections of the life that is being stored up for me in heaven.
Maybe we should appreciate the fact that we do get to celebrate as we attend church services, look at our dwindling bank accounts, and deal with intermittant bursts of parking lot rage as we are out and about in the thickening traffic. Perhaps we should look at the dragging out boxes of Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, and lists of wants from our loved ones as a privilege and not a burden. We should enjoy with abandon the scents and tastes of the season, and sing along to our favorite Christmas music because we have senses to take it all in. We can allow our hearts to be filled with joy and appreciation for the blessings that we have...right here...and right now. But most of all...we should appreciate the true "reason for the season" and what this birth means for each of us who accept the gift that keeps on giving...life.
My Christmas decorations - acquired over the past twenty-five years of marriage - are covering every conceivable surface in my home, and there's an equal number in the attic waiting for my kids to move out on their own or for my tastes to change back to dancing bears or "early WalMart with a shade of ABC Distributing Company." I look at my tree with its more sophisticated ornaments (Jill insisted) and those of the past that passed her inspection, and I am delighted with this wonderful mix of past and present. The beautiful glass angel that a sweet friend gave me years ago, along with an ornament that has a handwritten note that I've never wanted to remove, and the reindeer that replaced one that someone stole from me in "Dirty Santa" at a Sunday School party years ago. (I was later banned from playing this game by Big Dave because my competitive nature overrode my good sense.)
I am pleased that we have a social calendar that includes an excellent mix of friends, family, and work associates. I've missed a couple of very important things this year, and I do regret that Baking Day did not happen. But I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to have something to look forward to, and am thrilled that I have people who care enough about me to have invited me in the first place.
It makes me wonder, though, what life would be like in December without the joy of the season to anticipate. If my belief system did not include the celebration of the birth of the tiny Christ child in a stable over two thousand years ago. If I had nothing to be grateful for, and nobody to look forward to seeing. If the time between the bookends of Thanksgiving and New Year's Day was completely devoid of all that I have come to know and love about the Christmas season.
Every year, I watch some version of "A Christmas Carol" and see Scrooge being transformed from a man of the world to a man of spirit. I believe that most of us have been blessed with some magic in our lives...and we see his transformation as reassurance that the magic is still out there...that it exists. People that we somehow believe will always be there for us...or traditions that seem to go on year after year until the next generation claims them as their own. At Christmas, we have time to reflect on our life after the one we are currently living, and we tend to have moments of clarity when we see that we should spend more time appreciating what we have. We see the wonder of the Santa Claus tradition in the eyes of the little people, and the joy in the eyes of someone who is opening a gift that we were able to give them out of our abundance.
I cannot imagine life without the Christmas cards that come into this house. To look at the faces of our sweet friends and their children, and we read the messages and even see the precious words that are written by those we love who are far away. I realized that I will mail two fewer cards this year than I did last year, and that thought saddens me. I suppose as time goes on, my list will continue to dwindle if everything remains the same. But I do so hope that the opposite will occur. That I will have a larger list because I've been blessed with more people who make up my past and my present.
When I hear the song "Silver Bells" - I always think of my mother, uncle, and aunt, who sing this song together...or at least did several times as I was growing up. I can be standing in the middle of Stein Mart, and if it comes on...I pause for a moment to think back. It isn't the only Christmas song that transports me, either. I suppose that's why I have little patience with what I call the "junk songs" of Christmas like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" or the one about the hippopotumus. I remember playing "What Child Is This?" on the piano at my grandmother's house because I could actually figure out a chord or two, and I rarely hear the "Hallelujah Chorus" without feeling my spirit being lifted. Tonight I am going to the cantata at our church. I know that people who are gifted singers cannot imagine my reluctance to attend these every year, but I have been anti-cantata for some inexplicable reason for as far back as I can now remember. Tonight - Lord willing - the cycle breaks. And I'll get to see my friend sing her heart out with an amazing choir and drama group.
I suppose that if we didn't celebrate Christmas, that void would be replaced with something else. We might have some other federally mandated holiday, or we would simply create something to mark the winter solstice. But I love the fact that we do have these weeks to celebrate the past, enjoy the present, and look ahead to the future. I love the knowledge that because He came...my future is secure. My current circumstances are but temporary afflictions or temporary joys. The blessings I now know are but pale reflections of the life that is being stored up for me in heaven.
Maybe we should appreciate the fact that we do get to celebrate as we attend church services, look at our dwindling bank accounts, and deal with intermittant bursts of parking lot rage as we are out and about in the thickening traffic. Perhaps we should look at the dragging out boxes of Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, and lists of wants from our loved ones as a privilege and not a burden. We should enjoy with abandon the scents and tastes of the season, and sing along to our favorite Christmas music because we have senses to take it all in. We can allow our hearts to be filled with joy and appreciation for the blessings that we have...right here...and right now. But most of all...we should appreciate the true "reason for the season" and what this birth means for each of us who accept the gift that keeps on giving...life.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
General Christmas Rambling
I have spent the better part of the last two weeks primarily doing four things...eating, working, sleeping, and shopping...and not necessarily in that order. I've done other things I'm sure, but thinking back right now, I'm a little fuzzy on exactly WHAT. I've been fairly determined that this Christmas was going to all be in order by the first week...and so far...so good.
Yes, of course, I have a list. What would my holiday be without a little OCD?
As I am writing this, it is December 9th. I'm officially supposed to be onto "baking, wrapping incoming gifts, and planning the menu." I guess one out of three is acceptable. One really must be in the mood to bake.
As far as the big ticket items are concerned...the tree got up with very little fanfare. I didn't have to whine, pout or threaten to go get the tree myself this year. This usually lasts approximately a week beginning at Thanksgiving with the tree being up by the 7th of December. This year, Big Dave just sucked it up and let me get it done as November was exiting stage left. He didn't complain...he just pulled into Home Depot and we picked out a nice tree. Of couse, he made me wait 24 hours to get the decorations out of the attic while it just sat there naked in the stand. He said it was that he wanted the branches to "settle" but the truth is that Big Dave is passive-aggressive and thought I should wait since he didn't hassle me about getting the tree in the first place as some kind of trade-off. The whining actually came from Brian this year...who was enlisted to get the decorations out of the attic.
After the boxes were retrieved, I got the tree decorated, the Christmas decorations out and the wreaths ready for the front of the house. The wreaths are Big Dave's domain. Because of this, they actually sat by the front door in a pile for close to a week before Jill came home and asked her Dad why they weren't on the house. Within thirty minutes...they were.
I've been trying to be a good steward of what little money I do have for Christmas this year. The presentation, tons of car repairs and the final tuition payment at Trinity have been hovering like little thugs around my bank account...so I was determined to find bargains while at the same time attempting to fulfill the wish lists that both of the the kids came up with in starts and fits over the past month or so. Never mind that I've inquired about thirty times for them to let me have a running start. No. They weren't entirely sure what they wanted. Oh, they threw me a bone every so often so I would quit asking them incessantly, but it is only now...now that I have finished spending and am only in the wrapping phase...NOW they have a whole host of wishes on their lists.
And wishes some of them will remain. Fortunately for Jill, her birthday is in January.
Anyway, as a result, the final result was in budget...and is a very eclectic mish-mash of totally random items in some cases that they will probably love but won't realize they need until they think about it. And yes, I did get everything that they specifically asked for (up to a point) except for new cars, a maid, and unlimited Bagel Bites from Costco.
(Wait! The maid was on my wish list. Never mind.)
I think that now that my company Christmas party is over and everything else is pretty much scheduled...I am really enjoying the thought of the holiday season. I've loved that the temperatures have been positively arctic over the past week. Yes, we even managed to turn on the heat earlier in the week because the dogs were looking at us like "How DO you people survive without fur?"
(And NO, I will not go there.)
Anyway, my girl is coming home tomorrow after her final exams and that will be fun. I've really missed her despite the fact that she has been home more often than normal over the past month. This excitement will last for about three days...and then she will tire of our boring existence and long for something more interesting to do than watching "Elf" again. Yet, as far as I'm concerned...her arrival marks the official start of the holiday season for us. Of course, as I previously mentioned, the tree has been up for two weeks and will soon be potentially flamable in another week or so since I put it up a week ahead of schedule, put a gazillion lights on it, and insist on keeping it lit while we are home. But HEY! who cares, right?
After all, it's Christmas!
But for now...the shopping is over. Yesterday, I arrived home and found eight packages from various delivery agencies on my couch where they had been picked up from the porch by Big Dave. I have at least that many - if not more - waiting to be delivered. Of course, because I cannot have an unwrapped gift in my presence...all of the gifts are immediately wrapped and placed under the tree. I'm personally amazed that the dogs haven't bothered any of them. Probably because none of the packages are in the shape of a ball. So there's that.
I've watched the Hallmark movies and the traditional holiday shows already. I suppose that I enjoy seeing these like I did when I was younger. I used to find the TV Guide (a fixture at my grandmother's house) and map out the Christmas specials including "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" when I was little. For years, it wasn't Christmas if I happened to miss "Rudolph." And I mean...a LOT longer than was normal...like college age. I could miss "Frosty" and survive...even if the little girl on it was named Karen and I thought that was really cool.
Tonight I am sitting here looking at the Christmas cards that are beginning to arrive and feeling very happy that I have friends who send them to me. I am also happy that I have a place to work, a family that cares, and the prospect of a happy Christmas ahead. So many blessings.
I hope that my fixation with http://www.fatwallet.com/ will lessen in the coming days and that the UPS guy won't just start throwing the packages from the truck to the porch because he's sick of dodging Rebel in the driveway. I also hope that on Christmas morning that the gifts will be well received instead of that look that is sometimes hard to disguise that says "What WAS that woman thinking?" Hey, I tried.
I believe that right now it is time for me to retire for the night. I'm trying to make sure that I am well rested because I have a cantata to attend Saturday night. My friend, Beverly, calls me every year to check my attendance plans, and this year...barring a stomach virus, unexpected problem, or weather related issue...I'm planning to attend. I hear that I'll be blessed if I do.
Here's hoping that your Christmas is getting off to a good start. Some of you may be trying to figure out how to get it all done...and others may simply be just delaying the inevitable fear-laden flight to the mall on Christmas Eve to finish (or...well...START) your shopping. Just try to enjoy something about the season. I know I'm trying...
and succeeding...hope you are as well.
Yes, of course, I have a list. What would my holiday be without a little OCD?
As I am writing this, it is December 9th. I'm officially supposed to be onto "baking, wrapping incoming gifts, and planning the menu." I guess one out of three is acceptable. One really must be in the mood to bake.
As far as the big ticket items are concerned...the tree got up with very little fanfare. I didn't have to whine, pout or threaten to go get the tree myself this year. This usually lasts approximately a week beginning at Thanksgiving with the tree being up by the 7th of December. This year, Big Dave just sucked it up and let me get it done as November was exiting stage left. He didn't complain...he just pulled into Home Depot and we picked out a nice tree. Of couse, he made me wait 24 hours to get the decorations out of the attic while it just sat there naked in the stand. He said it was that he wanted the branches to "settle" but the truth is that Big Dave is passive-aggressive and thought I should wait since he didn't hassle me about getting the tree in the first place as some kind of trade-off. The whining actually came from Brian this year...who was enlisted to get the decorations out of the attic.
After the boxes were retrieved, I got the tree decorated, the Christmas decorations out and the wreaths ready for the front of the house. The wreaths are Big Dave's domain. Because of this, they actually sat by the front door in a pile for close to a week before Jill came home and asked her Dad why they weren't on the house. Within thirty minutes...they were.
I've been trying to be a good steward of what little money I do have for Christmas this year. The presentation, tons of car repairs and the final tuition payment at Trinity have been hovering like little thugs around my bank account...so I was determined to find bargains while at the same time attempting to fulfill the wish lists that both of the the kids came up with in starts and fits over the past month or so. Never mind that I've inquired about thirty times for them to let me have a running start. No. They weren't entirely sure what they wanted. Oh, they threw me a bone every so often so I would quit asking them incessantly, but it is only now...now that I have finished spending and am only in the wrapping phase...NOW they have a whole host of wishes on their lists.
And wishes some of them will remain. Fortunately for Jill, her birthday is in January.
Anyway, as a result, the final result was in budget...and is a very eclectic mish-mash of totally random items in some cases that they will probably love but won't realize they need until they think about it. And yes, I did get everything that they specifically asked for (up to a point) except for new cars, a maid, and unlimited Bagel Bites from Costco.
(Wait! The maid was on my wish list. Never mind.)
I think that now that my company Christmas party is over and everything else is pretty much scheduled...I am really enjoying the thought of the holiday season. I've loved that the temperatures have been positively arctic over the past week. Yes, we even managed to turn on the heat earlier in the week because the dogs were looking at us like "How DO you people survive without fur?"
(And NO, I will not go there.)
Anyway, my girl is coming home tomorrow after her final exams and that will be fun. I've really missed her despite the fact that she has been home more often than normal over the past month. This excitement will last for about three days...and then she will tire of our boring existence and long for something more interesting to do than watching "Elf" again. Yet, as far as I'm concerned...her arrival marks the official start of the holiday season for us. Of course, as I previously mentioned, the tree has been up for two weeks and will soon be potentially flamable in another week or so since I put it up a week ahead of schedule, put a gazillion lights on it, and insist on keeping it lit while we are home. But HEY! who cares, right?
After all, it's Christmas!
But for now...the shopping is over. Yesterday, I arrived home and found eight packages from various delivery agencies on my couch where they had been picked up from the porch by Big Dave. I have at least that many - if not more - waiting to be delivered. Of course, because I cannot have an unwrapped gift in my presence...all of the gifts are immediately wrapped and placed under the tree. I'm personally amazed that the dogs haven't bothered any of them. Probably because none of the packages are in the shape of a ball. So there's that.
I've watched the Hallmark movies and the traditional holiday shows already. I suppose that I enjoy seeing these like I did when I was younger. I used to find the TV Guide (a fixture at my grandmother's house) and map out the Christmas specials including "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" when I was little. For years, it wasn't Christmas if I happened to miss "Rudolph." And I mean...a LOT longer than was normal...like college age. I could miss "Frosty" and survive...even if the little girl on it was named Karen and I thought that was really cool.
Tonight I am sitting here looking at the Christmas cards that are beginning to arrive and feeling very happy that I have friends who send them to me. I am also happy that I have a place to work, a family that cares, and the prospect of a happy Christmas ahead. So many blessings.
I hope that my fixation with http://www.fatwallet.com/ will lessen in the coming days and that the UPS guy won't just start throwing the packages from the truck to the porch because he's sick of dodging Rebel in the driveway. I also hope that on Christmas morning that the gifts will be well received instead of that look that is sometimes hard to disguise that says "What WAS that woman thinking?" Hey, I tried.
I believe that right now it is time for me to retire for the night. I'm trying to make sure that I am well rested because I have a cantata to attend Saturday night. My friend, Beverly, calls me every year to check my attendance plans, and this year...barring a stomach virus, unexpected problem, or weather related issue...I'm planning to attend. I hear that I'll be blessed if I do.
Here's hoping that your Christmas is getting off to a good start. Some of you may be trying to figure out how to get it all done...and others may simply be just delaying the inevitable fear-laden flight to the mall on Christmas Eve to finish (or...well...START) your shopping. Just try to enjoy something about the season. I know I'm trying...
and succeeding...hope you are as well.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
'Tis the Season
This is Thanksgiving Week, and I've heard everyone I know being thankful about something. For some it is family. For others it is time off, fun plans, health, kids home from college, or something equally wonderful. In the state of Alabama, it is time for the Iron Bowl and bragging rights for the next 365 days. It is also the week of Black Friday...which I bowed out of years ago after realizing that I am not woman enough to hang out at Best Buy at 4 a.m. to buy something I couldn't even locate in the store. I thought I'd give it a shot last year after hours at Old Navy because they had men's jeans for $10. That was a colossal fail in that it was A) impossible to figure out what was left because the shelves had been emptied, stirred up and then thrown back together and B) all of the normal sizes were gone. What remained would have fit an NBA player or a smurf. So, I'm definitely, positively, and permanently retired from that particular madness.
Which is perfectly fine with me, by the way.
Because what I am thankful for is that I don't have anything that I particularly feel the need to track down like a bloodhound for Christmas morning. My kids are beyond Toys R Us and have most of the electronics that they require in this day and age. They like gifts and want to be surprised, but they aren't driving me crazy with lists and constant discussions and intermittant begging. Now it is somewhat likely that they'll know most of what they have under the tree...and they seem truly okay with that.
But if I were a fairy godmother with a magic wand...there are a few gifts that I'd like to give some people this Christmas. Not everybody that would receive a gift would know that they were on my list because I enjoy giving anonymously. I'd just wave the wand and sit back and watch. And I'd surely not turn whatever it was back into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight. I always thought that was so lame.
I'd give one sweet friend some peace of mind and some forgiveness for herself. She can't really control the choices that others make...even though they seem to require that she always be part of the support system when the bottom drops out. I'd love for her to find healing for herself...both physically and emotionally. And I'd also like the ingrates that she has to deal with to remember how very special she is.
I'd give another friend a few more hours every day to finally catch up on everything that she can't get done. She's a single parent and finds that there is far more to do than there are hours in a day. She tries to make time to take care of herself, but is having to hit her treadmill at midnight just to fit it all in. I'd wish for her life to be less complicated and more restful.
Another one needs a herd of elves to clean out closets and drawers that have been long neglected. She is willing to get rid of things, but is too afraid to lift the lid on that Pandora's box for fear that she will never get it all put away again.
Another one needs to get her checkbook balanced and have a clue how much money she has. It can't be easy worrying all the time about how everything is going to get paid.
Others seriously need to meet Mr. Wonderful so that we can all just move on. Some people need to meet Mr. Wonderful at 35, others at 27, and some at 20. I am just hoping that the various Mr. Wonderfuls DO show up in 2011 if I have to locate them and have speed dating in my living room or something. I'm so serious.
Several need healing, others need motivation, and a few others need something to look forward to because life seems to royally suck right now.
Some need to be exorcised of their selfishness, and others need to quit living life as a doormat.
And everybody seriously needs to have a little more fun in their lives.
A few need to remove the word "yes" from their vocabulary and replace it with "are you flipping kidding me?" I'm thinking of making flashcards for them to help.
At least a few need to quit wishing that life was different and learn to cope with the new reality.
Sometimes we forget that every blessing that we have involves some sacrifice of either time, energy, or freedom. If we have a house...we have to clean it. If we have children...we have to raise them. If we have pets...we have to care for them. If we have people in our lives...we have to nurture them. Accepting the blessing without the corresponding sacrifice is what causes a great deal of friction in this world.
Occasionally, people forget this and only see the sacrifice without the blessing. Sometimes in reality that's all there is. People can break our hearts, you know. But constantly focusing on the sacrifice makes us martyrs. Constantly focusing on the blessing and not understanding the sacrifice makes us selfish. Somewhere in between is balance. And in that space between...we find the abundance of life.
I know that most of the gifts I'd love to give won't be in the flyers tomorrow that are crammed into our little Wednesday newspaper here. And that's really and truly okay. I am approaching the age where there aren't really that many items I need that I can't go out and buy for myself. And I've given up on finding out that I descended from fairies or elves and have magical powers as much as I used to wish that it were true. But what I can do is pray to find balance and to be as big a blessing to others as possible in the coming year.
And yes, I'll read about the great deals that are out there for those who know how to snag a deal at an hour when normal people are still asleep. I wish them well. I really do. But maybe the gifts I'd really love to give are those things that money cannot buy. Peace, love, joy, happiness and the like.
Which is perfectly fine with me, by the way.
Because what I am thankful for is that I don't have anything that I particularly feel the need to track down like a bloodhound for Christmas morning. My kids are beyond Toys R Us and have most of the electronics that they require in this day and age. They like gifts and want to be surprised, but they aren't driving me crazy with lists and constant discussions and intermittant begging. Now it is somewhat likely that they'll know most of what they have under the tree...and they seem truly okay with that.
But if I were a fairy godmother with a magic wand...there are a few gifts that I'd like to give some people this Christmas. Not everybody that would receive a gift would know that they were on my list because I enjoy giving anonymously. I'd just wave the wand and sit back and watch. And I'd surely not turn whatever it was back into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight. I always thought that was so lame.
I'd give one sweet friend some peace of mind and some forgiveness for herself. She can't really control the choices that others make...even though they seem to require that she always be part of the support system when the bottom drops out. I'd love for her to find healing for herself...both physically and emotionally. And I'd also like the ingrates that she has to deal with to remember how very special she is.
I'd give another friend a few more hours every day to finally catch up on everything that she can't get done. She's a single parent and finds that there is far more to do than there are hours in a day. She tries to make time to take care of herself, but is having to hit her treadmill at midnight just to fit it all in. I'd wish for her life to be less complicated and more restful.
Another one needs a herd of elves to clean out closets and drawers that have been long neglected. She is willing to get rid of things, but is too afraid to lift the lid on that Pandora's box for fear that she will never get it all put away again.
Another one needs to get her checkbook balanced and have a clue how much money she has. It can't be easy worrying all the time about how everything is going to get paid.
Others seriously need to meet Mr. Wonderful so that we can all just move on. Some people need to meet Mr. Wonderful at 35, others at 27, and some at 20. I am just hoping that the various Mr. Wonderfuls DO show up in 2011 if I have to locate them and have speed dating in my living room or something. I'm so serious.
Several need healing, others need motivation, and a few others need something to look forward to because life seems to royally suck right now.
Some need to be exorcised of their selfishness, and others need to quit living life as a doormat.
And everybody seriously needs to have a little more fun in their lives.
A few need to remove the word "yes" from their vocabulary and replace it with "are you flipping kidding me?" I'm thinking of making flashcards for them to help.
At least a few need to quit wishing that life was different and learn to cope with the new reality.
Sometimes we forget that every blessing that we have involves some sacrifice of either time, energy, or freedom. If we have a house...we have to clean it. If we have children...we have to raise them. If we have pets...we have to care for them. If we have people in our lives...we have to nurture them. Accepting the blessing without the corresponding sacrifice is what causes a great deal of friction in this world.
Occasionally, people forget this and only see the sacrifice without the blessing. Sometimes in reality that's all there is. People can break our hearts, you know. But constantly focusing on the sacrifice makes us martyrs. Constantly focusing on the blessing and not understanding the sacrifice makes us selfish. Somewhere in between is balance. And in that space between...we find the abundance of life.
I know that most of the gifts I'd love to give won't be in the flyers tomorrow that are crammed into our little Wednesday newspaper here. And that's really and truly okay. I am approaching the age where there aren't really that many items I need that I can't go out and buy for myself. And I've given up on finding out that I descended from fairies or elves and have magical powers as much as I used to wish that it were true. But what I can do is pray to find balance and to be as big a blessing to others as possible in the coming year.
And yes, I'll read about the great deals that are out there for those who know how to snag a deal at an hour when normal people are still asleep. I wish them well. I really do. But maybe the gifts I'd really love to give are those things that money cannot buy. Peace, love, joy, happiness and the like.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Extremes
This weekend, we received an invitation to a wedding, and to a bridal shower for a wedding that will take place in March. We were at my sister's wedding a few weeks ago, and my niece's a few weeks before that. A sweet friend of Jill's is engaged, and I've heard whispers that there are others who are considering the walk to remember. It appears as though the world is pairing up, planning, and including us in their joy. This totally rocks, by the way.
And then I have recently watched others call it quits. The stress is too much or the chemistry is off. The demands are too large and just snuffed out the underlying embers. The pain of being alone seems easier than the work it takes to keep it together. The timing is off, the maturity level isn't what it needs to be, or something just changed one day that can't be changed back.
One extreme to the other.
I think that there are times that life seems like the average of all things good and bad...and other times we seem to be on one of those rides at Six Flags or Disney World that drop you a gazillion stories in an extraordinarily short period of time. Kind of like going from praying for rain to filling sandbags.
I know that all of us have daily joys and a lot to be thankful for in this life. And we should focus on that joy. Sometimes it is difficult when we are experiencing emotional whiplash from the constant and violent changes from one extreme to the other. It is at those times that we should be most aware that we just have to enjoy what we can and forgive ourselves for being a little off of our game for a short time.
I know that it is often said that when you are thrown off of a horse, that you have to get right back on. This is true, I believe, to some extent. Yes, we do have to face our fears and not let one negative experience rule our lives. On the other hand, sometimes we need to take the horse to the barn, go to the house, take a long soak, and rest before we try it again. All of us are different, and each of us has our own unique way of managing major disappointments.
I am thrilled that we have been involved with so many people who are making lifetime decisions about who they will marry and what they will do with their lives. I expect that this will only increase in the coming years as my children graduate from college and head out into the great big wide world. However, there will also be times when I will be listening to someone ask me why they can't find who it is that is meant for them or why their path isn't illuminated in the midst of all of the sweetness and light that seems to be surrounding everybody else.
I can't answer that other than to say that sometimes we have to march in place so that something can clear out of our way. Sometimes there is a wreck on the highway of life that has to be cleared and assessed and we are left behind the mess not really seeing what is blocking the path. Maybe that time is to bring healing to someone who needs it before we meet them. Sometimes it is because there is growing up that must be done before they are ready to meet us. Other times it is geography, finances, focus on school, bad decisions that have to be turned around, or something in us that needs changing before it all comes together.
But it is always worth the wait.
Life is full of extremes...calm and drama, boredom and excitement, joy and sorrow. The existence of one proves the existence of the other. While we hope to spend more of our life on the happy side of the fence, in actuality, we spend the majority of it as an average of the two. Or at least that has been my experience. I love hearing good news because I love moving the needle of an average existence toward the extreme of joy. It certainly beats the alternative.
If you are struggling today with feeling the rush of wind as you whip from one extreme to the other...just try to enjoy the ride. Put your hands in the air and trust that God is in control of it all. There's nothing to fear, and any delays will most assuredly be worth it in the end. If you are happy beyond measure...enjoy this time of blessing in your life. And if you are waiting for things to get better...trust that they will be at some point in time. Just trust and pray.
And then I have recently watched others call it quits. The stress is too much or the chemistry is off. The demands are too large and just snuffed out the underlying embers. The pain of being alone seems easier than the work it takes to keep it together. The timing is off, the maturity level isn't what it needs to be, or something just changed one day that can't be changed back.
One extreme to the other.
I think that there are times that life seems like the average of all things good and bad...and other times we seem to be on one of those rides at Six Flags or Disney World that drop you a gazillion stories in an extraordinarily short period of time. Kind of like going from praying for rain to filling sandbags.
I know that all of us have daily joys and a lot to be thankful for in this life. And we should focus on that joy. Sometimes it is difficult when we are experiencing emotional whiplash from the constant and violent changes from one extreme to the other. It is at those times that we should be most aware that we just have to enjoy what we can and forgive ourselves for being a little off of our game for a short time.
I know that it is often said that when you are thrown off of a horse, that you have to get right back on. This is true, I believe, to some extent. Yes, we do have to face our fears and not let one negative experience rule our lives. On the other hand, sometimes we need to take the horse to the barn, go to the house, take a long soak, and rest before we try it again. All of us are different, and each of us has our own unique way of managing major disappointments.
I am thrilled that we have been involved with so many people who are making lifetime decisions about who they will marry and what they will do with their lives. I expect that this will only increase in the coming years as my children graduate from college and head out into the great big wide world. However, there will also be times when I will be listening to someone ask me why they can't find who it is that is meant for them or why their path isn't illuminated in the midst of all of the sweetness and light that seems to be surrounding everybody else.
I can't answer that other than to say that sometimes we have to march in place so that something can clear out of our way. Sometimes there is a wreck on the highway of life that has to be cleared and assessed and we are left behind the mess not really seeing what is blocking the path. Maybe that time is to bring healing to someone who needs it before we meet them. Sometimes it is because there is growing up that must be done before they are ready to meet us. Other times it is geography, finances, focus on school, bad decisions that have to be turned around, or something in us that needs changing before it all comes together.
But it is always worth the wait.
Life is full of extremes...calm and drama, boredom and excitement, joy and sorrow. The existence of one proves the existence of the other. While we hope to spend more of our life on the happy side of the fence, in actuality, we spend the majority of it as an average of the two. Or at least that has been my experience. I love hearing good news because I love moving the needle of an average existence toward the extreme of joy. It certainly beats the alternative.
If you are struggling today with feeling the rush of wind as you whip from one extreme to the other...just try to enjoy the ride. Put your hands in the air and trust that God is in control of it all. There's nothing to fear, and any delays will most assuredly be worth it in the end. If you are happy beyond measure...enjoy this time of blessing in your life. And if you are waiting for things to get better...trust that they will be at some point in time. Just trust and pray.
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