Sunday, August 22, 2010

(More) Whining About August

I like to think of myself as a rational person. This has not always been the case, and I'm sure that there are moments when I'll delve into being slightly illogical. Oh, who am I trying to kid? I'm 47, I'm from the South, and I'm female. Of COURSE I'm going to have flashes of craziness (and other things). It's my birthright.

I have been astounded during the month of August because I've thought it was a weird month. Well, it's the 21st day of this long, hot and ridiculous month, and it's still bizarre. Oh, most of the time I can handle things that are different, difficult, or even distorted, but this month has been the mother of all weirdness. I am waiting for the Oompa Loompas to break into song at any moment.

At first, I thought it was just because I was tired. No. I've caught up on my sleep and then some. I've rested. Granted, experiencing Rush for five days straight at my age was something I should not have attempted unmedicated. But I did...and it ended I'm over it.

I've eaten some foods I'd formerly forsaken because I thought it might be some bizarre vitamin deciciency or something. Alas, NO. Now I have to go back through detox (caffeine) after spending several days hyped up on coffee in Tuscaloosa to simply keep from freezing to death in the Phi Mu house. Yeah, they keep it cold because during the Rush parties there are hundreds of girls in there. Normally, my "personal summers" make this a non-issue. However, I had not spent extended time in Arctic temperatures since May 2006 in London (a long story) and in my sleep-deprived state...I folded like a cheap stadium chair.

I've even cleaned up a lot of things because I thought a little more order in my life was order. That didn't help. And retail therapy is not an option until sometime in 2012...after Jill graduates. If then.

It is simply that life is just too entirely weird for words right now.

Case in point: I just opened my "Annual Progress Report" from my friends at World Vision. I've been sponsoring a child since he was 12 years old. I suppose it's been awhile, though...because his latest report says he's not in school because he is married. MARRIED? Shouldn't that make him ineligible for the program? I'm thinking so...but apparently not. At least they didn't send me a "special appeal" for a wedding there's THAT.

I've also watched two of the most horrible movies ever over the past 48 hours. Both had decent actors and should have been really good. I'm thinking of storming the gates of DISH Network to demand a refund. I personally want to slap Ewan MacGregor and John Cusack for making these movies. Like really hard. I'll be slapping myself next month when they show up on the monthly bill.

I opened my mail and found out that Alabama Power has increased my "budget billing" by $56 a month because I tried to avoid being a victim of spontaneous combustion by daring to turn on my air conditioning this summer. I hate to whine, but with this unbelievable heat...we could actually save energy by just grilling on the patio. No grill necessary...just slap it on the concrete. I intend to not turn on my heat until I can see my breath inside the house this winter just to get some of my money back.

We have had three of the five cars we own in the shop this month. One just passed out from the heat, another had a hose explode, and the third had something catch fire in the steering column. The common denominator? The heat. And the fact that we drive cars that are just one step up from beaters because that's the way we roll. Well, more correctly, that's the way we would be rolling if the cars were operational. But I digress...

I suppose that I'm blaming everything on either the heat...or the fact that it is August. Somehow, in my world at least, this just seems like the right thing to do. I'm ready for a month for everything to be better than I expect...or at least normal.

I've tried to hold on to the good things that have worked out...the peanut butter cupcakes that I made Brian that he actually ate...seeing my mother in a play (she was awesome as usual)...making good on a promise to visit the in-laws in the "new" place they moved over a year ago (they usually come here to visit)...I've gained no weight (lost none either, but that's about to change)...Phi Mu got an awesome pledge class...and both of my children appear to be happy.

That last one is a really big deal, by the way.

And as my friend says..."a mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child." Truer words were never spoken. Well, I can only assume that Jill is happy. I rarely talk to her now that she is back in her happy place (Tuscaloosa, Alabama). But she has a good schedule, a lot of activities on her calendar, and a really cute boyfriend. I think that other than her car trouble...the worst thing in her life right now is that her iTunes is lost somewhere in the bowels of her computer and she can't figure out how to retrieve it.

Brian has been feeling a little under the weather for the past two weeks...but he loves his schedule and he isn't far enough along in school this year to be stressed out about anything. Well, he DOES have an Economics test tomorrow, but he has deluded himself into thinking that he understands it.

I'm trying to look for the silver lining, by the way.

In two weeks, SEC football will be on, the heat should have relented somewhat, and we should all be in some kind of rhythm. All of the cars will hopefully be running, and Big Dave will probably be very busy again. He needs to be...we have car repair bills that are ridiculous...but not as expensive as car payments or insurance on cars that are actually worth something.

See, I'm really trying.

However, this is next to impossible to do while watching "Cops" and seeing the po-po wrestle a python out of somebody's backyard in Florida. Or to the show they just flipped to with a guy named "Junior" who is "gator-huntin'" in the Everglades on the History Channel ("Swamp Men"). He is not only missing language skills...but apparently several teeth. The men in my family are determined to push me over the edge. It won't take much tonight.

So, I'm about to head off to bed. I'm going to the land of Nyquil because my allergies are acting up to make this month even more delightful than it already is. Ragweed, no doubt.

I just hope that I can maintain the house for the next week because we have a bridal shower for my niece here this Sunday. Let's just hope that we don't have any a ladybug invasion, a tablecloth malfunction, or a tornado. Frankly, none of these would surprise me a bit.

After all...this IS the South and it IS August.

Come on September...

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