Thursday, January 6, 2011

Reflections on A.D.D.

Lately, the muse that normally gives me lots to think and write about has been passed out in a sugar coma somewhere...or got taken out with my extraordinarily dry tree last week. I've thought about a lot of things, but they haven't necessarily translated into thoughts that can be shared with other people. I was never diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder as a child...primarily because we knew not of such a malady, but it is highly likely that I have some degree of this affliction here lately. I suppose it is a nice change from my "overfocusing/tune the world out/exhausting myself with the details" existence that I've had for the majority of my adult life.

I'm one of those people who can tune into what someone else is saying no matter what is going on in the room. I actually remember to do things without writing them down because my brain just likes details. But that doesn't stop me from writing them down anyway. I am a list maker of the highest order. Lately, though, my brain has dropped more balls than are in the ball pit at McDonald's. Or were. I have no idea if they still have those or not. I'm SO out of the loop.

Normally, I've had friends come in and carry on conversations with me that I don't hear a word of because I am watching something on television and I have no idea that they are in the room...or on the planet. Now, a leaf can blow three buildings over and I'm looking out the window to see what just happened. I've definitely been more like that kindergartener on the tee ball team that is turning cartwheels in the outfield and has no idea where the ball is...nor does she care.

I've been daydreaming...and thinking about possibiltiies. Oh, I know that it is natural to do that in January of each year...but this year it is almost as if I'm being transported into another realm. I don't know if there is something major going on in my world or not...but it sure seems like it. I've had bursts of happiness, creativity, and energy that keep me from settling down and doing the things that I need to do effectively.

You, laundry...putting gas in the car.

Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I had the gas light go on. This meant that I had to go to another gas station than I normally do...and it took awhile for me to figure out the pump. I almost put supreme gasoline in my car because I was too busy trying to figure out if I should push a button to start or lift a handle. See? Completely devoid of walking around sense.

I wear a watch, but forgot to actually look at it or just didn't actually move to go, and time flew by while I was chatting with friends...twice this week. Okay, granted, one group hadn't seen each other in awhile and we had a lot to say and the other one always takes a bit longer than the allotted lunch hour...but time just flew by without me really having a clue about it.

Big Dave has been stuck with the laundry because it became quite clear that I'd rather go to Target and buy more underwear than actually settle down and put in a load of wash. I've left the Christmas decorations in boxes at the foot of the steps to the attic and haven't really yelled at anyone to take them upstairs. That's actually because I don't really notice them there anymore. I'm too busy flitting around doing something else that seems incredibly important at the time...but I couldn't begin to tell you what it was.

I know that this will pass in a few always does. But I'm enjoying considering possibilities that are normally outside of my realm of thought. I just keep thinking that this year will be a significant year in some way. That wonderful things are just around the corner. I do so hope I'm right about this.

I know that my son is graduating and that my daughter will be finishing her junior year of college and beginning her last year of college. He will go to Europe in May, and I'm planning to go in September. I have a beach trip that I'll make sometime in July, and my sister is due back here with my niece and nephew in late June. There's a lot to look forward to...but I can't seem to shake the feeling that there is a whole lot more going on this year as well. Hope it is all positive. REALLY positive.

So, tonight, I am going to go to bed early. I'm going to read, and pray, and settle in. I'm going to hope that I can be effective during the working hours tomorrow...and that I can get more done in one day than I've managed to get done all week. I can hope, anyway.

And perhaps this weekend will be one of great efficiency. I pretty much doubt it right now...but you never know. I'm just hoping to retain the "happy" part of the equation and perhaps trade some of the "daydreams" for "putting plans in action." I guess, though, that every once in awhile it is nice to just let go and recharge the creative part of your brain. Although efficiency and order are extremely important...equally necessary are creativity and wonder.

Or so I hope. And lucky me that has Big Dave to do laundry. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment