Friday, July 20, 2012

On Being Bored

Today has been very strange.  First of all, I am on vacation, have no agenda, and I awoke to news of a mass shooting in Colorado.  It has rained on and off all day - at the beach - which I'm certain breaks some kind of understanding that I have with the universe about my time off - but whatever.  I've spent time looking at the various articles written about the shooter, and have even stooped so low as to look at the Season 3 cast list for what I'm certain is a very, very scary show on ABC called "Bachelor Pad."  It brings back participants from previous "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" shows for what purpose I'm not entirely sure.

Other than advertising dollars.  Because apparently people are all over watching this kind of hooey.  Including my mother and my daughter.  Oh my.

Anyway, as I sit here thinking of all of the things I'd like to be doing right now, I can only think of a few that don't involve extreme effort on my part.  I'd love to see a movie, but I'm a little heebie-jeebie-ish about movie theaters today.  I'd like to go out to eat, but I've prepared dinner for those who are traveling and I think it would send the wrong message if I elected to not eat my own cooking.  Besides...I made two tomato-basil pies, and am throwing together an awesome I'm pretty much on the hook there.  I can't watch cable TV because it doesn't exist in either of the beach houses I've stayed in this week, and I've watched just about every conceivable Redbox offering that wouldn't require intensive therapy after viewing.  (I don't do horror or suspense movies because my brain will not let me forget those images for decades.) Except the "Friday the 13th" movies...and only because I watched a marathon with Jill and her then-boyfriend and he made me laugh through all of them.  Because, seriously?  All you have to do is listen for the music and you pretty much know what's about to happen.  Something that allowed me time to cover my eyes and just listen for the commentary (which was generally mocking) of Jill's ex-beau.  Good times.

I've thought about just lying down and reading...but I don't sleep well enough at night as it is without adding another layer of insomnia from having slept all afternoon.  Besides, people are set to start arriving in an hour or being passed out at 4:00 p.m. CDT is probably not advisable at this point in time.

The last time that I remember being bored was during a weekend where Big Dave had taken the children somewhere, I was caught up on my scrapbooking, and my house was clean.  I'd watched all of the movies I had and since we didn't have cable at the time...I couldn't just find the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime.  I remember thinking to myself how nice it was to be bored since I so often am pushed for time that I truly respect it as a commodity. 

Except today I am spending time like a drunken sailor spends money on leave.  I'm wasting it.  Just refusing to do anything remotely productive outside of tracking down Jill's duvet cover (they never sent it due to some malfunction on their part) from somewhere in New Jersey (I think).  They found it possible to charge my AMEX though...and so after filing an inquiry with them...I got on the phone to find out where the package is.  After has been two weeks.

And that...along with cleaning the other house and moving to this beach house...comprises the sum total of my productivity for Friday, July 20th.

Yes, I'm bored.

Not in the way that kids are in the summer when days stretch out endlessly and the highlight of the week is time in the pool, tracking down the ice cream truck, and catching lightning bugs.  Which having just written that looks really, really odd.  Lightning bugs?  Really?  I suppose that they are technically "fireflies" - but that's probably what they are referred to up North.  Down South, we put them in a jar and watch them glow, or smear the glow-y part all over us so that we glowed instead.  The poor bugs that I disassembled without a thought makes me a little sad now that I think about it.  But not as sad as realizing that these memories are close to forty years old.

Forty.  As in 4-0.  Wow.

But bored in that way that you really don't have an agenda...and there is nothing that is clamoring for your attention.  Where you are just part of the minutes that roll into hours and then into days. Or something like that. 

I can handle a day of boredom...specifically because I know that it is a truly temporary position.  Some people might call it "rest" or "taking it easy"...but since those words aren't really in my vocabulary...I'll just choose to believe that I'm bored instead.

I guess I will give in to the urge to rest a little bit and am about to go curl up with a book and a blanket and try to catch forty winks...whatever that means.  After all...once every decade probably isn't going to hurt me too much, right?


At least I have today.  Which is something that a lot of families in Colorado are struggling with in the aftermath of one person's extreme selfishness and apparent mental illness.  In that light...I intend to enjoy it as well as appreciate it immensely. 

As I should.

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