On What Is Important

This morning I’m ready for church, trying to keep the shih tzus from being obnoxious and I’m waiting on baby girl to wake up. I’m not rushing her. I’m enjoying watching her sleep on the monitor.

It is a cool morning, relatively speaking, or it may be the fan overhead giving me that impression. I have the door cracked so the dogs can venture in and out since they’ve had a hearty breakfast on paper plates put on the garage floor for their dining pleasure. I didn’t need two fueled shih tzus whining outside the gate helping Brooklyn along on her transition from dreamland.

And now I wait.

I’ve been doing a lot of waiting lately. And I’ve learned some lessons through this process that I may have missed had I never quit trying to do everything. And when I think back now on what kept me so all fire busy, I struggle a little bit to figure out exactly what it was...and wince a little realizing that chasing the wind - something I’ve done too much of - is not a really great use of time.

It isn’t.

You may not know what that is...if you have your priorities straight or you have a personality that insists on healthy boundaries. You may not know if you are incredibly disciplined or will not put up with nonsense. Or if you have people in your life who will not indulge your particular brand of craziness or if you’ve just decided that chasing the wind is not God’s purpose for your life...so you stop doing it.

I don’t know. But what I do know is that it is ridiculous.

I won’t elaborate on my pursuits in this area...but I will say that when you are done with it...you’ll know.

Kind of like what people told me before my “yes” to knee replacement surgery. When it is time...it’s time.

A lot of people out there are chasing money, power, prestige, promotions, education, more, attention, fame, adoration, acceptance, love, thrills, fulfillment, records, medals, trophies, comfort, freedom, retirement, improvement, health, friendships, marriage, parenthood, empires, revenge, the pinnacle and so many other things. Some are worthy endeavors. Most are not.

We chase dreams but sometimes have to accept that we are wrong for the part, aren’t liked, are too old, are too young, are too much, or are too little. We set out to find our purpose only to follow the crowd into wind chasing and dust.

I’ve done it. Most have at some point or another.

Someday, it all seems as ridiculous as it always was. The scales from our eyes fall away. We begin to understand that what really matters is our relationship to God, to those we love and who love us, and the employment of our gifts for the benefit of others.

I have some plaques in my office from the 1990s when I was wind chasing and thought it mattered. A big part of me wants to toss them away. Another part keeps them in a stack gathering dust as a reminder of a lot of wasted time and energy.

I have some workout DVDs from Walmart that are at least a decade old that I never opened because “Walk it Off and Tone It Up” wasn’t happening in my living room. It has to happen in an environment where people are sweating and I hear iron on iron and occasional grunting. To think otherwise is chasing the wind. Sorry, Leslie Sansone...that’s a hard no for me.

I also have lists I’ve made that I will not complete, clothes in my closet I will never again wear, and people I care about that I’ll probably never see in person again. I have travel plans I’d like to make reality, some projects around this house I’d like to see done and some weight on my frame that I’ll probably never eradicate fully.

It’s okay. I can dream.

What I have stopped doing is chasing the wind. I’ve stopped volunteering for everything. I’ve realized that I will never be the best at some things I’d love to be proficient in and I’m not getting any younger.

What I am happy about, though, is that I still have some dreams alive, that I am okay with who I am, and I’m mighty grateful to those who love me and want me in their circles.

Including my children.

In a few minutes baby girl will wake up and will ask for her Mama and Daddy. She’s so incredibly precious. I’m so privileged to live in the same town and to be able to help my son-in-law plan a wonderful day celebrating their wedding anniversary for my daughter.

That is what’s real out there, folks. Love.

The rest of it...is just crepe paper decorations and dust gathering and soul stealing minutiae. Although I do love crepe paper when celebrating someone or something worthy.

I want to live a life where I’m chasing what’s real. What’s good. What’s God inspired and cannot be shaken. Where I don’t have to even think about or hesitate for a second to know exactly what I need to do in any given situation because I have no fear of the wind.

Have a beautiful day and don’t give up even when things look odd or when you have to lay something you thought was important down and then realize it is little more than a paper cutout or airbrushed version of something good.

Off to wake her up or at least make noise and get to what is important and real to me. Being her grandmother and serving others today. The wind can blow all it wants. I’m not chasing it.