All About Jill

Today is a special day for me, but it isn't my "special day."  It was the end of a long journey in one way and the beginning of a grand adventure in another.  It was a day that I remember a great deal of because I was awake for the better part of it, and a day with a wonderful order to it...1-23.

Exactly.

But that day 24 years ago was anything but full of order.  It was actually full of nursing students who were on hand to witness a "high-risk delivery."  At least that's what they told me.  I'm sure that there weren't but about (no more than) eight people in the room, but it may as well have been eighty.  It was crowded, the epidural was wearing off, and I was tired.  I'd been in the hospital for four days waiting for this moment and it was almost at hand.  Or would be as soon as someone located the doctor.

Yes.  A room full of people and no doctor in sight.  Did I mention that the epidural had worn off?

There is something about losing all sense of modesty because you honestly no longer care and watching the clock because you want to have a clue how long you've been in this particular predicament.  Of understanding why some people swear it off after one child and that peculiar mixture of fear, anticipation, pain and joy that culminates into a crescendo when a screaming reddish blond haired little girl arrived at 9:19 a.m. and was laid on my chest after seventeen hours and seventeen minutes of labor (not that I was counting or anything.  Okay, FINE, I was.)  Three weeks early.  All 6 lbs 10 1/2 ounces of her.  That meant I only had about 88 pregnancy pounds left to lose.  (I'm really not kidding...but ended up losing 70 of it before I went back to work.  Preeclampsia was not my friend and I learned that one of my superpowers is the ability to retain water.)

But there she was...a little bundle of absolutely perfect.  The most beautiful blue eyes...which we finally got to actually see when she eventually woke up three weeks later.  (Along with colic.  For a month.)

At least she was a good sleeper.  (From three months on.)

I have had the most amazing journey being Jill's mother...watching her grow up from a strong willed infant into a cute toddler.  Getting the reports at daycare that she had munched down on one of her classmates without being provoked for reasons known only to her...and she wasn't getting into the "why" of it at that point in time.  She has never been a particularly wordy child...other than when she was wound up watching "Barney" or trying to convince me to buy something for her at Walmart.

One of my favorite memories of her at this time is asking her to repeatedly "read" "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss with her cute "g" instead of "f" sound so that she pronounced it "The Goot Book."  (My favorite part then...and will always be "fuzzy furry feet" which became "guzzy gurry geet.") Unfortunately for her, I also asked her to tell me her address (564 Deerfield Drive) to equal hilarity.

Trying to get her dressed was always interesting...especially when she wanted to wear pink and red together...every day.  Or something else equally heinous.  I honestly think that this was the reason for her discontent on the famous "Picture Day."

Don't even get me started on "Picture Day" when she was two.  I should have known when she told me "I not have my pitch-her made today." that it was not going to end well.  Well, decide for yourself.

(THIS is what happened after they tried taking photos of every child there and couldn't get her to smile.  They finally just took this one at the end.  Why yes, we DID purchase every copy, and the 5 x 7 stayed in her Daddy's office for years.)  She has since pointed out to me that it was cruel and unusual punishment for me to put unmatching bows in her hair and to dress her in a shirt with the word "FRUIT" on it.  I suppose in retrospect, it wasn't such a great clothing choice.  I think she has forgiven me though.

She grew older and started school, and we found that "channeling her leadership potential" as the Lower School Principal so kindly suggested (repeatedly in our thirty minute meeting) after she decided to double back to the library in 1st grade because she wasn't finished with a project she was working on was going to be a little more challenging than we had hoped.  But on the bright side...finishing things...just like her Mom.  That's my girl.

The years flew by and we went through projects, Brownies, a few years of dancing lessons before she announced her retirement, braces and glasses, and a couple of unfortunate hair years and ended up in junior high with a girl who was blossoming into a beautiful young woman.  To say that it caught us by surprise was an understatement.  We always thought that she was cute...and she was a precious little girl...we certainly didn't expect beautiful.

But beautiful she is.

We survived high school, the dreaded cheerleading tryouts, a bad chorale teacher, mean girls and even worse adults, and all of those years when you aren't sure that you are doing anything right.  You are just praying that you are making the right decisions and striking the right balance between caring enough to make a difference and leaving enough space for independence.  And then one day...

Grown.  Almost anyway.

We watched her walk across the stage to accept her diploma at Frazer United Methodist Church...the same place where we stood while I was pregnant with her in 1989 to join the church, where she was christened, where she was confirmed, and now...a high school graduate.  Where I really want her to get married someday but she has told me that she wants an outdoor wedding (I think to stress me out about the weather, just because.)

We were preparing to load her up for the University of Alabama to roll with the Tide and pursue a business degree.  Oh, and pledge Phi Mu...which was honestly her own doing...but I couldn't have been prouder.  (Which made her my daughter...AND my sister.)

A few minutes (okay, FINE, four years) later...just as we asked her to do...she graduated again.

 
ROLL TIDE, baby girl.  You did it in four years.  And had a job before you graduated.

Anyway, she is now employed, a homeowner, mother of two cats (both rescues) and a beautiful woman making a life for herself.  She has good friends.  She has opinions.  She'll surprise you with her wisdom.  We are genuinely and totally proud of this girl.

She still has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that will melt you (her Daddy is her favorite victim, but he doesn't seem to mind.)  She has the ability to weather a lot of storms because she knows that eventually what goes around comes around.  Fortunately, she found a port in the storm...a team of "other mothers" who love her, build her up and pray for her to this day.  She is not a drama queen and doesn't have a whole lot of patience for wistfully looking back.  She is a curious mixture of caring and accepting...but not suffering fools.  Of loving her family well while not being terribly patient with people making obviously bad choices.  She loves animals, her Daddy, country music, and Mexican food.  She dislikes onions, fake people, things that are illogical, being low in her checking account and math.

Not necessarily in that order.

She is every wonderful thing that a mother wants her daughter to be while not sacrificing who she is and was born to be for a second.  She tries to please and will go the extra mile to help someone out.  If she can't please you, she'll accept it and move on.  She's real and expects you to be.   She knows her own mind and will give you a piece of it if you push her past her limits.  She requires sleep and food when she needs it or you'll suffer the consequences.  She laughs a lot, will watch horror movies and not have it affect her, goes through periods of reading everything she can get her hands on and likes to work out.  She is the person who will tell you the truth when others won't, will stand with you when you need it, and will try to make you happy if she can.

She has made me very happy for the past 24 years.  Okay, a little crazy too...but on the whole...HAPPY.

She was and is my "most beautiful baby girl."  The little person who took all of the air out of the room when she was a little thing because she knew how much I loved her then and just where my limits were.  Who painted her toenails (and the tan carpet) when I left her unattended for two minutes while I tended to her brother...and she proudly came over to where I was and showed me her handiwork. Fast forward to the young woman who tried to make me proud and really just wanted nothing more than some really good friends as she navigated those years that every "girl Mom" truly hates.

She grew into a young woman who spent her 21st birthday weekend at the beach with her mother, grandmother and two of her "other mothers"  instead of at a bar (not saying she'll never enter one...but she knows her limits.)  Who listens to wise counsel, loves the Lord, and tries to make good decisions, but who doesn't beat herself up when she falls short.  Who sees the world the way that it is, but who always tries to make it better...brighter...more colorful.  Who judges people by their heart, character, and how they treat her and not their possessions or anything that they can do for her.

In short, she's pretty doggone amazing.  She didn't worry about convention when I was turning 50...she and two of the "other mothers" threw me a party at my house.  There was no arguing about it.  She also had her Daddy out there with a "honey-do" list that was downright impressive...and a lot of it got done.

But today, as we celebrate her...I see my Jill as the little girl she was and now the beautiful and precious woman that she is.  The girl who loves her family...and will make an effort to stay in touch.  The girl who is organized and creative and can hunt down a bargain like a bloodhound.  The friend who will have your back but expects you to answer her calls...or she's out of there until you will.  The person who is confidently looking to a future that she expects to be wonderful.  I have no doubt that she'll find it.

Happy Birthday sweet Jill.  Here's wishing you many, many more.  I love you more than I can ever tell you in words...but in case you ever wonder...just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have changed my life in the best possible way...and I'm grateful for it.

Surprises

Sometimes I find myself absolutely surprised at what goes on in my life.  Granted, I am supposed to be considered an "active participant" in said life but I am amazed at least once a day at how God jumps out there and surprises me with something.  Often it is very positive, and I get to walk through the day with a smile on my face - feeling all special like I used to in first grade when it was my day to hand out paper towels or made the only 100 on the spelling test.  That joy that just bubbles up from the deep recesses of the heart and frees one from worry and stress and drama.

Some days, it is as simple as having the K-cup hit the trash can instead of catapulting itself in such a manner that it sprays coffee gradeaux all over the wall in plain sight of a coworker.  Because, quite frankly, I find that making a mess when I toss anything anywhere is the default mode.  Or I see a rainbow as I'm feeling low and tired of the rain and I look up...and there it is.  The light that I just know I'm about to run or have to slam on brakes to avoid a camera ticket miraculously stays green as I approach it, or there's a parking place in front of Costco instead of the back forty where I'll forget where I left the car and wander aimlessly all over the parking lot.

It can be anything from a friendly hello from an old friend I haven't seen in years to a young person who takes the time to just chat with me because they are enjoying the conversation as much as I am.  It may be a text message that invites me to lunch or from one of my kids that just reminds me that I am loved by the children I treasure.

Just surprises.  Little gifts that I open all of the time without really thinking about it and often take for granted.

The reverse, however, I tend to never miss.  Which is sad but true.

The forgetting my bath water and emptying the hot water tank so I take a bath that is borderline arctic. The newly painted mailbox that is a fresh target for the flocks of birds that fly overhead nearly constantly.  The friend who won't answer the phone or return my calls because she failed to turn the volume up on her phone after church on Sunday when all I need to do is relay some information, get a response and move on.  Being seated at a table at a restaurant where I have choose between breathing and possibly being wedged in because I've already waited forty minutes for a table and shouldn't be this big anyway...so by gosh, I'm not moving. (Possibly ever.)

Yeah, those things.  We all have them.  They are like tiny gremlins in our lives whose number one concern is stealing our joy.  And they are really, really good at it.  Primarily because we allow it.

I've sat beside cars where someone is just beating on the steering wheel because they missed a red light.  Where someone in the grocery store was using a sharp tone to speak to a child who had probably just approached DefCom 5 on the last nerve.  When the item you are looking for at the right price that you've been watching to go on sale is there in every size except yours.  When "breaking news" messes up the movie you've been watching and it is news that you couldn't care less about in the first place.

It is difficult when you are in "those moments" to just let go of the emotion.  But failing to do so makes you look a bit idiotic or unkind or impatient.  Not that you'll care at that point in time...not even a little bit.

I read recently from a book by Andy Andrews...and I believe it to be true that all of us are either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or headed for a crisis because such is the nature of life.  So, try to use those little cosmic surprises and random acts of kindness as your focus instead of what is going wrong.  Focus on what you can eat instead of what you can't.  Pay attention to who loves you in your life instead of who has wronged you.  Determine to make your corner of the world a little bit better instead of expecting to be a recipient all of the time.  There is a lot of joy in being the one who spreads it...possibly even more so than for those on the other end.

In the heat of the moment...that's hard to do.  Almost impossible sometimes.

Just focus on what is lovely, praiseworthy, kind, loving, fun, amazing, unique, special, thoughtful, and yes...surprising.  May as well set your focus there...because it is more challenging to do this than to start listing what all goes wrong in any given day.  But focusing on what goes wrong makes everyone around you start to notice it too.  And then they don't like that feeling but they carry it into their interactions.  Eventually, if it happens often, they'll begin to associate that bad feeling with being around you.  And the unpleasantness that started out as one thing that didn't go your way turns into a whole lifetime of negativity that causes ripples beyond what you intended...and takes people out of your circles because they associate the negativity and sob stories of life with you.

Do the more difficult thing...focus on what is going right.

That's hard to do when you have a loss, bad news or a very difficult mountain to climb.  But along the way, there are reminders that God is there trying to catch your attention and your heart.  Just try to find those and keep walking.  Or crawling.  Or waiting.  You'll be fine.  You are exactly where God wants you or know that He is trying to get you back to where you need to be.

I don't know about you, but I love being around happy people.  People who are just happy to be here living life.  Who find the humor in the negative and who smile through the pain because nothing can touch the core of who they really are.  Those people inspire me to get out of my cave of bad thoughts and expectations and just enjoy the sunlight that they bring.  These people cause ripples of joy that go far beyond what they intended as well.

Thank goodness.

So, today, as you face whatever is before you, just try to remember to look for the little surprises and to try to keep it as positive as you can.  Yes, there is a time to mourn and a time to be frustrated as you are standing in the pouring down rain with a flat tire.  But just know that everything you do and everyone you come into contact with has some purpose...or you wouldn't be here drawing breath.  Try to make sure that while you are, you are trying to change the world by being a pleasant surprise to someone else out there.  They don't even have to appreciate it.  God wastes nothing.

Wishing you a delightful day full of pleasant surprises and unspeakable joy.

Frazer Christmas Brunch 2013

Well, it is time again to show you examples of pure decorating wizardry or as I prefer to refer to it "those blessed by the artistic gifts on parade."  The first Saturday of December is dedicated to this event which features a fabulous brunch, tables decorated in a manner that would make the Southern Living editors Grinch green with envy, and speakers who teach us everything from flower arranging to how to do Christmas right by focusing on Advent rather than the trappings of Christmas.  (And in case you missed it, here's the two minute video she showed that pretty much says it all...)

The actual fun begins on Friday, where after weeks of preparation, the Kitchen Elves prepare the food that will be cooked on Saturday morning and get the tablecloths on the various tables...which is the blank canvas for the centerpieces, place settings, and the like that the Table Fairies turn into something truly magical.

This year, this endeavor was headed up by Barbara Christenberry, Frances Carr and Sandi Justice, and there were approximately 260 attendees.  Seeing as there were eight at each table in spite of the SEC Championship Game that day in Atlanta (because War Eagle Nation was "ALL IN"), this was a remarkable turnout and also tells you how many Table Fairies were busy at work.  Here are the tables in no particular order because I had to go back and photograph a few tables over again after the candles were lit or after something was added.  So, if you spot your table here and it is not presented in all of its glory...just recognize that I did my best.  Plus, I'd been up since 3:15 a.m. and was a little bit punchy all day.

Here we go...

This is my table.  Yes, I upgraded the chargers this year and Erin supplied the ribbon to make the little bows on the napkins.  Those are little burlap trees and my Spode Christmas Tree china.  The little red and gold trees were acquired from the Dollar Tree.  The gold flowers around the centerpiece were loaned to me at the last minute.  This photo was actually taken before the Santa favors were added...but I wanted to start with mine.  :)

Okay, FINE, a close-up of my centerpiece because I thought it turned out really cute.  :)

This whimsical but lovely table was done by my Special Apple #1, Erin.  Isn't it beautiful with the red and the Grinch green!  She ordered that cute chevron table runner with her initial on each end and that sucker is reversible.  Yay for Etsy!  I thought Erin did a beautiful job with her creation!  :)

This table was done by my friend, Jane Allen.  She used natural rosemary and lovely chargers and placecards.  So lovely!

This charming table had cute little favors for the guests.  

One of my very favorite tables...the centerpiece looked like a little town with trees laden with ornaments and little birds on the branches.  Paired beautifully with the china and the napkin rings that had a bible verse on them.  

This table was done by Donna Oliphint who never fails to WOW us with her creations.  She made the ceramic centerpiece figures and although you can't see it in this photo, the plates have different bible verses on them.  On top of the plates, was a wrapped bible for her guests to take to give to someone else along with possibly a gift card this season.  So intentionally lovely all the way around.

Closeup of the place setting because YES.  Just yes.  

Another lovely Spode china presentation, but with cute little wrapped gifts and pinecones in the middle.  Such a lovely centerpiece!

Another table that I just loved...done by Elizabeth Mosley.  Yes, those nests are real and the centerpiece is just gorgeous.  

Closeup of Elizabeth's place setting.

Another beautiful table done with non-Christmas china.  Gifts of gold as the centerpiece.

This arrangement used both red chargers and gold placemats and a silk floral arrangement as the centerpiece.  Lovely!

This table was actually a group effort.  The centerpiece was made with things that I brought to do my table that I didn't use.  Three mercury glass candles and a velvet tree skirt along with donated greenery and china and chargers belonging to Sandi Justice.  Those are my napkins too...we used four of the red and green poinsettia and four plain red ones to add some interest.  It turned out really lovely for something totally unplanned!

Here's a closeup of the centerpiece.  

A very nice presentation with a pretty real poinsettia as the centerpiece.  

This was also one of my favorites...put together by my uber-creative friend, Nedra McMullin. She found the deer at Cracker Barrel and the trees at Hobby Lobby in case you are wondering.  She used plain white plates with scalloped edges and a burlap and gold cloth and three levels to create this masterpiece.  Amazing.  :)

A closeup of Nedra's table setting.

And these favors?  Yes, Nedra painted those.  Lucky recipients!

This table was done by my friend Carol Bryant.  Beautiful!  

Pretty table with beautiful red pillar candles!

A lovely table using the Holly pattern and fresh flowers on a red tablecloth.  

Another favorite...an all-white "Winter Wonderland" presentation  So beautiful!

Table setting of the Winter Wonderland table.

This gorgeous table was done by my friend, Brenda Teal, who used burlap, cards, and greenery with a Joshua tree.  Absolutely beautiful table that I loved seeing!

Lovely table with glass and mirror centerpiece.

This table featured a cross as the centerpiece.  Breathtaking!

Another lovely table with a live arrangement and candy cane favors.

Beautiful table with dark red to red and light green to dark green.  So pretty!

This centerpiece featured a merry-go-round and pretty candy cane favors.  

A closeup of the carousel and the snow globes.  

This is another picture of Nedra's table because I couldn't quit photographing it.  :)

This beautiful table was done by Special Apple #3, Kymi Walker.  I think I have that right!  Love the deer and the poinsettia centerpiece that she used with the china and chargers.

Closeup of her centerpiece.

This table was done by Robin Boyd and was intended to be a "Vintage Christmas" arrangement.  Look at the beautiful pastel ornaments and the pretty nativity set she used.  I love the plates and the simplicity...yet it is gorgeous!

A closeup of Robin's centerpiece.  I was honestly enthralled with it.

This one was done by my sweet friend, Frances Carr, who had the theme "Hats Off to You"  Such a fun centerpiece!

This centerpiece was a tree with Santas.  Charming!

Loved the use of the poinsettias on the napkin rings and the plates.  

Pretty centerpiece with an angel and candles.

I loved this table and the "crackers" that the hostess put out that added a touch of gold "bling" to her table.  

A close up of the place setting.

Food line...before...

Another one of Elizabeth's table because I couldn't resist.  :)

A place setting that I described earlier...wandered back over because I loved the tablescape so much!  

A close-up of the little village table from earlier.

Another closeup of some items on my table.  :)

Carol Bryant's table FINISHED.  :)

Okay, he's sideways, but that was Big Dave helping with the food the morning of the brunch.  Because he totally rocks.

Here's Larry Bryant (Big Dave is in the background) overseeing the gazillion sausage balls that had to be cooked.  Larry was amazing during the brunch.  He was everywhere fixing everything yet attempting to stay invisible.  Kudos to him!

My finished table WITH the Santas that Donna Oliphint acquired for me so I could offer a favor to my sweet guests.  Added just the right touch, don't you think?

Here's Dianne Corwin, Sandi Justice and Frances Carr.  These women did a fabulous job of pulling this together.  Missing in action is Barbara Christenberry...but we couldn't have done it without her and all of the others who cooked, put tables together, or helped clean up.  

Here's Miss Rolena Prescott - the heart of Frazer's Food Ministry putting together her beautiful table.

Here I am with my 3 Special Apples...Erin Gowan (#1), Amanda Chapman (#2) and Kymi Walker (#3).  Although I had NOTHING to do with the fact that these ladies are so inclined, I think I was the only mentor with all of my Apples doing their own tables!  Made me proud that they are involved in the Women's Ministry!  All three of them did a beautiful job with their tables, and Kymi also helped out in the kitchen on Friday (and according to one Barbara Christenberry...was her right arm).  Way to go sweet girls! So proud to know you!  :)

A better photo because you can see more of them and less of me!

This table was done by Jennifer Corwin - SuperMom of 5 children under 7 and a sweet friend.  Love how she pulled it together!  But that wasn't her only table...

She also did this table and used her Advent wreath and some beads as decoration.  Her mother, Dianne Corwin, brought the red glasses and the napkin rings which just tied it all together beautifully.

Here's an up-close photo of Frances Carr's table...

This is Amanda Chapman (Special Apple #2)'s table.  She did a beautiful job!

Yeah, another photo of my table.  Okay, FINE, I was proud.  :)

Here's a photo as we were getting started.  It was so much fun to welcome approximately 260 women to the brunch...and on an SEC Championship weekend with Auburn playing!

These cinnamon bites totally rocked.  Mary Glen Grant's recipe.  :)

Pecan pie muffins.  Yes, please.  :)

SAUSAGE BALLS!

My precious friend Judy Crews and her beautiful mother-in-law, Elsie Crews.  Loved the tree in the background.  Made a great photographic background for everyone!

Our HILARIOUS and wonderful speaker - children's minister at Frazer.  LOVED her presentation.

Some of my sweet friends (Stephanie, Bonnie and Sharon) at my table.

Thanks for coming by to see the tables...and if you did so to see if you want to sign up next year...please let me encourage you to do so.  It will be a lot of fun and you will meet new friends in the process and get more involved.  Just pencil in the first Saturday in December in 2014.

Hope to see you there!