Monday, July 20, 2009

REALLY, people?

This post was originally written in longhand because it was just fitting for this topic, and because I was so fired up that I did it for therapeutic reasons. Obviously, it is now being transcribed here because it just cries out to be.

Why do we make things harder than they need to be? I mean, REALLY, people. Longhand versus the computer is just the tip of the iceberg. My point is that there are times when we are just asked to blatantly accept stupid practices because someone does not think. And even if that individual means well, as many of them do, I just cannot easily accept someone else's agenda if I clearly know a better way. If there is total disregard for my time or if what they are doing or suggesting (insisting) that I do is totally inner critic is going to be going..."REALLY?"

Please tell me that I am not alone in this...

I think that most people consider themselves remotely intelligent in terms of being able to function in their daily lives. Granted, we may lack proficiency in certain areas...but that's why the entrepreneurs in America thrive...including Merry Maids (I SO wish they were cleaning THIS house). And as a whole, we generally have enough sense to do what we have to do to survive. I say that, of course, realizing that there are those of us who are about as organized as a train wreck (quoting my old band director, Mr. G) and that there are others who simply refuse to "do details" along with much of anything else. However, what I'm currently talking (whining) about are those moments when people hand us an edict or put us in situations and our first thought is "REALLY? WHAT?!?"

Case in point. Today, an e-mail directed me to go back to a form that is clearly inferior but we are going back anyway because it was approved and that's that. Nothing has been added to the revised form that would change the spirit of what was approved other than the application of some common sense. Words that were misspelled were corrected, font sizes were standardized, page numbers were added, and the order of some of the information was changed slightly. Oh, but NO. So, I'll use the old form...and three days from now...logic will reign, and I'll have to recopy everything back to the new old form. Got that?

Other annoyances of like manner included a guard outside Sainte Chappelle in Paris in 2006. We were 2 minutes late getting in line, due to a trek that was longer than we thought it would be...with luggage. He wouldn't let us in because they close for lunch. I just wanted to peer in the door...just wanted to see the windows in case I never pass that way again. Alas...NO...because either he didn't understand me, or he wasn't going to acquiesce to a rude pink Crocs.

Or the dog groomer who - despite a 5:00 appointment, made my poor little half crazy dog, Rebel, wait until 7:00 to get his hair cut. I tried to pick him up, but they weren't ready for him. That is, until 15 minutes after I got home having done every errand I could think of. Picked him up at 8:30. He was freaked out, I blew my evening, and the girl had the audacity to act like she was stressed because I hadn't gotten there 15 minutes earlier (I live 20 minutes from town). Really?

I stood in line recently at Weight Watchers as people conversed, signed up, talked, asked questions, and debated the merits of which kind of cheese cracker was better to purchase. I waited. And waited. Didn't want to be there anyway, so I was especially (un)gratified to be behind the social butterflies that insisted on taking their time to dig cash out of 15 spots in their wallet instead of just writing a check...or using a credit card. Really?

Let's just say that I find it extremely difficult to understand why people can't just go for the common sense approach instead of the one that they've always done. I mean...THINK people. Be creative. Look for the better way...especially if it easier on everyone involved.

Now...having said I guilty of doing things in an inefficient manner? YES. Absolutely. But, I've also had friends who were pretty good about checking me on it. In fact, I'm married to the King of Simplification. A man who taught himself to drink black coffee because he thought it was too much trouble to locate cream and sugar every time he wanted a refill. High maintenance?...he is not. Mr. Practical? Absolutely.

Just the's a list of things that have recently driven me crazy...

Hearing someone order a sandwich exactly as it is normally prepared except..."no pickles." I mean...unless you are allergic...come on. To be incapable of removing a pickle from your bun is just the epitome of laziness. To be able to taste the one drop of vinegar on the bread over the other condiments...yeah, right.

Organizations that charged me tax on shipping and handling. Why? I mean...must I pay you above and beyond what I am required to pay by law?

Skinny women who sit in the big chairs at a shower or other ladies function. Really? Can you not perch your size 0 rear end on one of the rickety looking chairs so that Big Mama (often me) doesn't have to stand or fall out from an anxiety attack?

People who forget an item at the grocery store and then make everyone wait as they wander to the farthest point in the store to retrieve it.

Folks who call to borrow something that is readily available at WalMart and would cost $10 to purchase outright. Locating the item will take an hour of my life, and will cost them $5 in fuel to retrieve it from my home. Not to mention the three telephone calls involved to inquire, for me to let them know that I've found it, and for them to ask when they can return it.

Companies who promise to deliver between 2 and 5 but only show up at 5:15 if you have something to do at 5:30, or at 1:30 if you are not home yet. The added bonus is the "Sorry we missed you!" notice. Really? Normally, after this, someone in their Customer (non)Service Department is usually REALLY sorry that they missed me.

People who see a line of ten women waiting to use the facilities yet insist on laying five perfectly aligned layers of toilet paper down on the seat - taking four minutes in the process - instead of just squatting. OR worse...squatting and then leaving spillage on the seat. Ick.

People who choose to have six children yet whine that they don't have enough money to take them to Disney World and go on and on about how unfair life is. I'm thinking that after your fourth child...whining should be outlawed in this regard.

Individuals who dress like total freaks and then glare at you when you stare at their piercings, pink hair, shaved head, mohawk, tattoo, trench coat, dog collar, spandex or guyliner. Really? Then how about you put on something from Old Navy and see if I stare. Probably not.

Overly enthusiastic or positive people. I cannot relate and I vacillate between wanting to be more like them and choking the life out of them. Not good. I honestly do not see the silver lining until I get the dark side out of the way.

People who - no matter how bad your day sucked...theirs sucked worse. You buy something that you are excited about...they got a better deal. You mow your yard...they mow their lawn in a diagonal and edge their driveway. Really? Is life a total competition?

People who dress their daughters like future "Girls Gone Wild" participants and then wonder why they want a naval piercing at 12 and a tramp stamp at 14. Really? This one blindsided you?

Oh, there are many, many more. Restaurants that charge 18% gratuity, but leave a line for you to tip even more (although I do if the service is not heinous). I just think that if you want to set a minimum that you are going to get (18%) happy with that. Don't ask for more. If you are willing to try to earn it...don't take the 18%. Is it really THAT hard?

I hope that some of these made you smile somewhat. I know that the world isn't perfect...and won't be until the end of time. But, wouldn't it be nice...if we could spend a little less time each day going...REALLY? and a little more time each day making the world a little better? I'm trying...I really am...Later!

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