Friday, May 11, 2012

The WB

I have worked in banking for 27 years (as of June I am obviously rounding up) and have found it to be the runner up in the world of acronyms.  Nobody has anything on the military...but we bankers like to abbreviate everything from CDs (certificate of deposit...and just an FYI while I am here...the plural is "certificates of deposit" not "certificate of deposits" unless you want to see me roll my eyes) to IRAs (individual retirement accounts) to DDAs (demand deposit accounts).  The position in the bank that most of us hold is usually shortened as well...such as FSR (financial services representative...upscale for "account opener") or RM (relationship manager). 

And don't forget the VPs (vice presidents...which are not to be confused with VIPs because I'm here to tell you we are SO not that.)  There are a number of us in any given branch/department/floor.  Lately, they have kicked these up to EVP (executive vice president) and SVP (senior vice president)...which means that you may possibly have more responsibility and an extra week of vacation.

Vacation days totally rock. 

Anyway, because of my propensity for shortening everything long (such as "Kat" for "Katherine") or lengthening anything short ("Jilly" for "Jill")...I more often than not will just figure out the acronym for something long and start calling it by its initials.

Of course, I get thrown every once in a with the OPI nail polish.  I want to call pronounce it "Opie" and those in the know have informed me (with an eye roll because that is THEIR domain) that it is pronounced "Oh Pee Eye."  Well, la dee da.

My favorite acronym of all time, however, is BOHICA...which is short for "bend over, here it comes again."  Not exactly a pretty word picture, is it?  But it does fairly sum up some of those things in life that just require that something be know...when you rip the tags off of something or lose the receipt and notice that it just went on sale 50% off?  Well, that's a BOHICA.  Or your dryer breaks down a month after going out of warranty?  BOHICA.  Generally BOHICAs tend to come in threes...or so I've generally experienced the phenomenon.  Let's just suffice it to say that you will get the short end of the stick.  Yes.

Tomorrow morning I will don a new acronym...WB.  Yes.  I am going to help my friend whose daughter is getting married tomorrow.  She's Jill's age.  Yowser.

I actually signed up for this duty when the announcement was engaged...because someone needs to have that role.  There is enough stress in writing the checks for a shin-dig ("wedding" for you up North) that you really don't need the MOB (mother of the bride) bothered with details like dealing with drama, lost items, getting things from A to B, cleaning up messes and paying people.

That falls to the WB.

Oh, come know what the "B" stands for. And if you have been closely associated with a know that there needs to be one.  Because somebody is just going to make a personal crusade out of being difficult. 

Not while the WB is on duty.  (Nip it!)

I have my orders for tomorrow and I am thrilled to be able to help in any way that I can.  After all, how much fun is it to see a precious girl getting ready to make the walk to remember?  Answer: Extremely fun.

I think that so many of us have scattered memories of our wedding day.  Of people either babying us beyond belief or not making it all about us and using up all of the hot water in the house ON OUR WEDDING DAY. 

(What?  Did my bitterness show?)

I remember bits and pieces of the day...primarily because I willed myself to remember it.  The ceremony lasted a whopping 15 minutes...and the reception was an hour and 15 minutes after that.  It wasn't the way I dreamed it...but it was the way I planned it.  And there's a lot to be said for that.

I hope that tomorrow will be excellent beyond her wildest expectations.

I'm sure it will.  Seriously, I'M SURE IT WILL. 

(Yeah, mess with me.) 

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