Points

I realized this morning what I have named this blog..."My Points in Time." Now, exactly WHY I did this...I do not know. I have a couple of possibilities, though. See if any of these seem remotely logical to you:

A. I was trying to be clever. I just don't listen to enough country music to be up on my double entendres, so whatever.
B. The title "Hot Flashes from the Dark Side" just seemed a bit morose.
C. The title "Rantings and Incoherent Mumblings of a 46 Year Old Working Mother of Two" was already taken.
D. I actually thought I'd have a point to make...at some point...maybe.
E. The Weight Watchers organization has brainwashed me to such a degree that the word "points" just flowed out of my subconscious.
F. The words "points" and "time" appear to be two things that I never have enough of...so it was a kind of backwards wishful thinking.

I am inclined to believe "F" above all...although "C" is equally true.

ANYWAY, today I am writing on the prison system as I am "helping" Jill edit her paper that is due (naturally) tomorrow. She has been busy with potential rushees, important functions (fraternity parties), and has been SO incredibly busy these past three days (tanning appointments, Pilates, preparing for Sigma Chi Derby Days, and...oh yeah...class) that she won't have time after her Rush Workshop today to do an adequate job. I'm being unfair...she actually started this last week...including making a surprise visit home last week for less than 24 hours just to show me how far she'd gotten (all four lines of it.)

However, thinking about it...motherhood is something like prison. I mean...it is like turning yourself in...but you serve at least a 20 year sentence. I'm on year 20 of this right now...and serving a concurrent sentence (17 years) as well. I've been told that at the end of this, I will be granted a reprieve in the form of grandchildren...or at least will have some monetary recompense. Let's hope so. While I have not really minded being incarcerated most of the time, there have been those days when I have almost considered ripping off a 7-11 just to be sent to prison to get some peace. And some money. I don't know that I've actually had any money since 1990. Somehow, it is eerily comparable to anything green in my possession (ie plants)...it just shrivels up and disappears.

Here's why I believe that there is some correlation between motherhood and prison:
13. Both prisoners and mothers wear the same clothes over and over and have little regard for fashion.
12. The wage rate is about the same...something random like $.32/hour.
11. There are opportunities for parole (ie grandparents) that don't come around often enough.
10. Even after you come out...you still feel like you are behind bars...even if Junior is 33, married and has 2.4 children of his own, a Volvo and a dog.
9. The food is the same...high in fat and carbohydrates (ie chicken fingers, hot dogs, mac and cheese).
8. Most of your rights (like to have a life of your own) are temporarily suspended.
7. The privacy is comparable. (There's always someone in the bathroom with you...and it is impossible to shave both legs at the same time.)
6. Nobody cares about your feelings, needs, or wants. You will receive the latest appliance for your birthday...and you will like it.
5. You are expected to do work detail. This involves cooking, cleaning, laundry, clerical work, and occasionally you get to work in the library.
4. Your TV viewing is controlled by others...and it is almost guaranteed to not be of your liking (ie Cops, Repo Man, Dirty Jobs, etc.)
3. Communication is often not returned since kids have caller ID on their phones...much like the collect call from prison.
2. You are always known as a convict/mother. You used to have a first name...now you are "Jill's Mom."
and the number one reason...
1. Prison stripes or stretch marks...any difference?

You guys have a nice day...back to the old ball and chain (English 102). Later!