Saturday, April 18, 2009

So, it's been twenty years...

Try not to pass out or anything...but I have signed up for a Facebook account. I have been familiar with Facebook since a guy friend of my daughter's had an obsession with it in 2005, and both of my kids currently have Facebook accounts. I have no intention of trying to be their "friend" as it is difficult enough simply being their mother.

Her Highness has noted that it is "weird" when parents try to talk to kids, and so in that vein, I don't want to be friends with anyone under the age of 30. Just between us, I'm quite terrified of what might actually be on the pages of the "under 30 crowd." I trust my kids, but I don't know if I need that much information on anyone else's. I've seen a few pages of kids that I know (ironically from church) that were beyond the pale and was so stunned by what I saw that I had to remind myself that these "kids" are over 21. I suppose they have every right to stand next to their beer pyramid for a long as they didn't drive home afterwards. The bunny wannabe striking the pose that was shared with cyberspace (and any subsequent blowback)...well, that is her problem. If she doesn't know better by age 21...when the ignorance card has been fully played...then I suppose that these photos were a fully informed adult decision. Would I go back to being 21 again? Um, no thank you...with the possible exception of the figure that I had then. Yeah, the one I had when I thought I was "fat." As if.

Last weekend, while under the influence (pun intended) of the sugar high brought on by simultaneous consumption of two varieties of cake (37 points) at the Easter lunch in Birmingham (which was fabulous, by the way)...I picked up my niece's computer and started a Facebook account. It was really has even taken the picture from the NY trip in December that is the most recent photo I have allowed (Twitter would not). I am, therefore, using a photo from 2006 on my Twitter page. I am standing there with my nephew (now 3 1/2) who was 8 months old at the time. We were in Paris. My hair was in a ponytail, and I look really happy (sleep deprivation). But...I WAS lighter. Enough said.

Anyway, I signed up...and then pretty much forgot about it.

That is...until I opened my e-mail and saw a "friend" invitation from the one person I really wanted to friend, Kay, that I worked with at Union Bank. She is from Troy, and also attended Troy State (as we referred to it then)...but was in a different sorority. She somehow found me (probably a suggestion because of the Troy link) and sent me a friend invitation. I then decided to see who else was out there, sucked it up and uploaded the picture, and just let it fly.

To my amazement, I've found my former sorority sisters everywhere. I've sent friend invitations to at least five of them, and I hope that they remember who I am. I'm thinking of digging my old composite out of the bread box that it lives in with the other momentos of my high school and college years...and see who else is out there.

The funny thing was...I found myself shocked to see that me...have been busy raising families and living life...albeit in a parallel universe so to speak. I suppose I still see them as the girls that they were walking down the floor of Pace Hall in a towel, at Winter Formal, or sitting around with sparkling eyes during my White Bible ceremony. Now, they are wives, mothers, and career women. They are no doubt dealing with stress, husbands, children, and jobs.

Call it a giant paradigm shift on my part, but when you haven't seen someone in twenty plus years and then you reconnect, it is a little disconcerting. Almost like going to your high school reunion and seeing the nice, quiet kid as a very successful businessman, the jerk who treated girls poorly as bald, fat, and thrice divorced, and the mean girls who finally received everything they'd been due for years. Ironically, that last one is hard to watch because...if you are like'd wished it on them ten times over then and feel somewhat responsible for it now.

The funny thing is that most of my sorority sisters, and my friend, look as good or better than they did in college! I certainly don't...but it was inspirational to see!

The lives that we live...breathing in and out...dealing with this or that...moving forward and managing what is on our plates today...often causes us to file away people and experiences as the "past." These files are like photo albums that we fill and then put on a shelf...only to be visited when something prompts us to dust them off and enjoy them. I don't think that it is the way we mean for it to is just the way that it is. I know that I did that with these wonderful girls who shared my sisterhood and who were the center of my universe for that brief period in time. Fortunately for me, the Facebook vehicle has allowed me to revive those old memories and get an immediate virtual update of how their stories have played out these past twenty years or so.

Several weeks ago, I received an invitation to attend a meeting in Troy to consider starting a Chapter Association for the sorority. I have been working with some very wonderful women who want to get it going...and to find the 900+/- girls who are our sisters. Being in a sorority doesn't end when you graduate. I can...but it doesn't have to be that way. We feel the need to reconnect now that we are starting to clean up and renovate these nests of ours that are starting to empty out. Plus, the current chapter needs support and - obviously - money to make some improvements to the house. Funny that they have a house...we had a "chapter room." However, the table that is in the TV room looks eerily familiar to the one that was in the chapter room in 1985...and probably is.

So, I'm wondering if that "hey, let's see what this Facebook thing is all about..." was more than I expected when I just initially followed a whim and signed on. Who knows? Maybe it was God kindly reminding me that I've had more in my life than just the raising of children or the sale of my time to a career. Perhaps I am supposed to learn more of the stories that we've all been writing. You all know I love a good story...and of course...closure.

On another "note"(hee hee)... I'm still tweeting away. I've put the tweets to the side of this blog so that you can see what the deal is. My very favorite part, of course, is following people. I'm currently following some nice people that I don't know...but seem to have interesting lives...and some famous people as well. My favorite is the group Collective Soul...which if you know me at all...know that it is my favorite. The guys seem very normal and fun in spite of the fact that they have written some really great music. They are currently preparing another album for release in August...and I'm very excited about that.

I'm sure that everyone is mentioning Twitter and you remain unaware of exactly what that is. Nor do most of you have the time or inclination to care. Leave it to your obsessive little friend to brave that for you. As if I need yet another obsession. (Hey! I see you rolling your eyes right now.) Later!


  1. This is my next attempt to communicate with you.

  2. So, now I have a Google account and can respond. This was more "Erma" K. Have sent your blog address to Court.