Invisibility

In today's society, it is possible within seconds to find out what you need to know by phone, fax, text, Facebook, reality TV, the internet, e-mail, Twitter, cable television, Google Earth or TomTom. While this is very good when you are doing a last minute book report, trying to find the 800 block of East Egypt or need to find out if you are indeed out of sugar while at the grocery store, it also gives the illusion that everything is public information, and as such...is real communication.

I mean...for all of the information out there...you'd think that everyone would be fulfilled. So why aren't we? How could anybody be lonely amid all of this virtual noise?

I just know that for me...some days I feel connected, and other days I feel as though I am on this island all by myself. I might read over what people have posted on Facebook...and then notice that nobody continues the conversation. Was it something I said? Other times I find people so incredibly kind and funny that I am so glad that I've rediscovered them in my life...and appreciate the words of love and support more than they really know.

I mean, I've kept letters that I have received during the years and every once in awhile...when in dire need of support...I'll read what they've written and remember our connection. Sometimes I'm still surprised by what I read. I know I've read the letters numerous times...but I think that we tend to forget the good things that people say about us and dwell on the bad. I know I do.

I think it boils down to significance. All of us want to feel like we matter. Maybe our opinion is valued in our family or close circle of friends and maybe we're the cheerleader for others who need it. I just know that significance is apparently a God given right. I mean, why else would He feel the need to communicate with each one of us?

Sometimes we use the word "special" to assign significance to something that seems on the surface to need additional support. The term "special children" is a way to show that we value these precious people who might otherwise be considered anything but. A "special friend" is a step above our regular friends...and is used interchangably with the term "significant other." You know what I mean?

And the truth is...the only thing that can fill this place in us that screams out for significance...is God.

I do believe, though, that we also want to be significant to other people...to matter to them. I suppose that there are some people who are not really driven by that...but most people I have met are. Why would we volunteer our time, energy and talent if we didn't want to put them behind a person, group, or cause? Sometimes the busy people are busy because they mistakenly believe that they are what they do. So they do more...equating that to being more.

It is my fervent belief that most bad behavior is rooted in a perceived lack of significance. "Nobody loves me." "Nobody cares." "It doesn't matter anyway." I've heard (and said) all of the above. The truth is...most are just wanting someone to notice that they are on this planet drawing breath.

And then again, there are some that have this huge abyss that seems vast and dark and frightening. Some people try to drown it all out, some try to buy their way out, and others become so obnoxious that we have no choice but to notice them. And that behavior gives them cause to be ignored and just perpetuates the cycle.

And there are just those who need serious therapy...but I digress.

So, I challenge you to look around you right now.

Think of one person who has never known how much they mean to you and let them know by card, letter, or e-mail. Don't hesitate. Nobody cares how well you write if you are speaking the truth. In fact, if you choose correctly, this person will be shocked that they are receiving it in the first place.

Think of another person who you think needs some added support, and let them know that you have them in your thoughts and prayers. Do something tangible if you can...make a donation in their name, take a meal to them, send a card.

Finally, think of a third person who is in your inner circle (including family) that needs to hear how much they mean or have meant to you from your lips today.

I have actually done this. About a year ago I sent a letter to an old Sunday school teacher and another to my third grade teacher. I am very glad that I did. Because ironically, both died within the same week...in their 90s. At least I know that they knew that they had touched at least one life for the better. I'm still working down my list as I'm nudged, and believe that this is just one of the mini-purposes that is ongoing in my life.

Sometimes we need to reach out. Sometimes we need to realize that in spite of all of the busyness of life and the barrage of information coming to us every day...that some people feel totally invisible. So, take it upon yourself to let them know that you saw their sacrifice, time, energy, love, and effort into your life.

Now on a lighter note...this whole invisibility thing might sometimes be a very good thing. There are actually times when I would prefer invisibility. I will list a few below:

1. At the counter at Belk and the lady is screaming across the department to another lady..."NO...NOT 1X...2X!"
2. Trying to get into the bleachers at Homecoming last year. (NOT pretty.)
3. The annual OB/GYN visit (enough said).
4. Ditto for the annual mammogram.
5. When I run into someone at Wal Mart when I look like I've been up for three days straight.
6. At the pool...beach...or anywhere involving shorts, bathing suits...or well...summer clothes in general.
7. When someone is looking for volunteers to attend the Easter cantata.
8. On the days when someone's kid is selling popcorn, cookies, candles, chocolate, magazines, or wrapping paper.
9. When weighing at Rehab.
10. When someone invites me to a candle party (right, Cindy?)
11. During any given weekend.
12. When someone asks me to tell them the truth as in "does my butt look big in this?" and I don't want to answer because I quit lying to people (intentionally)for good in 1990.
13. If dancing is involved (Sorry, Ellen!)
14. When the waiter brings dessert and gives me the "girl, I know you are NOT going to eat THAT" look.
15. If someone is looking for volunteers to babysit their monster child.
16. At work, when someone is offering tickets to some random political, arts-related or social event...or better yet...wants me on their fundraising team.
17. When I'm walking through Harrod's in London with pink Crocs on (circa 2006...true story).
18. When I'm about to introduce someone and I forget their name...or worse...call them by the name of the person I confuse them with but only I see the resemblance in the first place.
19. When I slip and fall down - HARD - for no reason except my own basic clumsiness.
20. When I'm asked my opinion in a meeting and - although I pretty much have an opinion about everything - I've previously tuned out and have been writing my grocery list instead of paying attention.
21. When I've inadvertently tucked the hem of my dress into the back of my pantyhose at church.
22. When I whine about not having enough to do and then someone lists thirteen things that need doing at the church.
23. When I realize that I'm in a situation where everyone is under 35 and I am so not.
24. In the grocery store when I'm buying bad food and I see someone I know with salad greens, organic chicken and fruit in her basket...and she wants to stop and chat.

So, anyway, go out there and make someone's day. Later!