Timing Issues

Anyone ever been the victim of bad timing? Well, I'd like to think of myself as somewhat of an expert in the field. I've had miraculously bad timing my entire existence...beginning with my birth eleven and a half months after my parents were married.

Now...you may be going...whew!...didn't know where she was going with that one...but let's just suffice it to say that in 1962...when the birth control pill first came on the market...my mother was a new bride. And just in case you are wondering...my mother at 27 would have made Doris Day look like a pole dancer. So...NO...there were no issues, there. However, part of that whole "good girl" thing was that she also took her mother's advice and quit taking them since "nobody knows what that stuff will do to you."

Well, I'm here to testify that abruptly stopping birth control pills after taking them six weeks into your marriage will often...nine and a half months later...equal 9 lbs 9 1/2 oz. Ta-da!

Anyway, this was welcome news to all...except to my grandfather who thought that she looked suspiciously far along at Christmas (as I've already stated...I was a big baby). So, he just gave her the silent treatment until the end of January passed with no baby. Then the end of February...and on into March...

So, while I was well timed for him...I was certainly not for my 110 pound mother. I was two weeks late, had a full head of hair and could sing my ABCs at birth.

Many know that I am (or was until I got hooked on eBay) an avid scrapbooker. Photos are the raw material that I use to tell the story of my life. Well, that and words, but whatever. I located my baby pictures and was a little startled to discover that this oh so wonderful occasion is marked by the fact that - much like the swine flu hysterics today - my mother had a mask on in my earliest pictures. To make the picture even more "totally awesome!" was the fact that she had on no makeup...and her hair was in rollers. Must have been a heck of a birth.

At first I thought it was just the way that they did things in 1963. But, I don't think so. See, six short years later...she's in the hospital bed after having my sister with her makeup fully applied, hair perfectly in place and a big dimpled smile on her face. No mask. Yeah. I pointed out this difference...and she just giggled uncomfortably and that was the end of that. Enough said...no doubt.

So, back to timing. Today some of the mothers of the kids Jill graduated with were getting together for lunch as we have been doing for the past several months on the first Thursday of the month. Yeah, it's a little rainy out...but nothing that we haven't really experienced here in Alabama since February of this year...great weather...crappy weather...tornadoes...

At approximately 10:45, one of the mothers e-mails that she has to move her horses out of one of the pastures because of flooding. Wow. Must be raining hard out there, I'm thinking...

At 10:47, another mother calls from her SUV to announce that a creek on her way home is almost equal to the street and that she's riding through about a foot of water. She's seeing stalled vehicles. It is still raining buckets. She asks whether or not we should just e-mail everyone and call off today's lunch...

At 10:50...the e-mail is sent. Some e-mails came back expressing disappointment...but it seemed to work out okay.

Well...not exactly.

See, across town, one of the mothers had not gotten the last e-mail about the cancellation. So she starts out toward the restaurant, deals with the traffic that has tied up on the interstate due to an accident, and then makes her way in the pouring rain to the restaurant. Realizing that she is going to ruin her shoes if she keeps them on...and she has no spare pair...she takes them off, shoves them in a plastic bag and sprints for the door. It is just after 11:30...our planned meeting time.

Then she sees it on the door..."The Restaurant Will Be Closed For Lunch Today Due To Weather." According to her e-mail, what came out next looked something like this @#*&$#@&*&(#@. She then gets back in her car, wrestles the umbrella shut, and braves the elements back to her workplace where she is greeted enthusiastically by coworkers who are delighted that she's made it back intact.

While I am very sorry that she was inconvenienced...I did laugh out loud reading her particular rendition of it. She wants to schedule next month's lunch in Arizona...but feels that if we plan together...it will be more of the same. What will it be next month? Golf ball sized hail? Probably...because I just cancelled the comprehensive insurance on my Accord. Like I said...it is all about timing.

Which brings me to my final point. My stress today was almost entirely due to someone giving me something to do that I can't possibly get done well before I leave for vacation tomorrow at 5:00. Because...trust me...I'm leaving tomorrow at 5:00 either way. I just would like for one time in my working life...the ability to go on vacation without giving myself a blood pressure spike and adrenaline rush. Is that possible? Guess we'll find out tomorrow...Later!