Yesterday I worked with the junior class on the school's graduation reception. I'll be chairing it next year with a friend, and she and I showed up to help out and to observe. Yeah...like I can observe anything without just jumping in. So, after 9 1/2 hours on my feet (minus 2 hours guarding the silver in mid-afternoon) - I was dog tired last night. This morning, I felt as though I had walked 20 miles or had taken three Pilates classes back to back. It was brutal just getting up.
So, today, I am recovering.
I was seriously reminded that at 46...I am no longer able to just hop around all day doing more than I am accustomed to doing. It is imperative that I listen to my body's demands that I sit or rest sometimes. I used to watch my grandmother - spry until her 80's - drive all over creation and never seem to tire. She took a nap every afternoon, but in my mind...it was more of a power nap than anything. Getting that nap meant that she could stay up late playing cards or whatever with me.
I also realized that at my age...I should not have been this out of it the day after just walking around and carrying pitchers of punch. This was a huge wake-up call for me. I'm getting myself back into some semblance of decent shape.
Don't we all have "wake-up calls" in life? I mean...you're working at a job and putting up with heaven knows what...and then one day you are like...nope...I'm just not doing that anymore. I don't have to tolerate this. So, you find somewhere else to sell your time...
Or, you may be one of those people who wears herself out making life pleasant for everyone at your expense. You don't really mind...until one day. You just decide that there is more to life than catering to the whims of the self-involved...those people that just suck the life out of you and you go...no...I'm moving on.
Or it may be that you are just sick and tired of a certain condition...you medicate, see specialists and "try" to make it better instead of just getting it dealt with properly?
The latter finally happened to my mother today.
She has been limping around since at least 2006 due to her need for knee replacement surgery. Since 2006, I have walked her all around London, Paris, my sister's house in west central France, New York, and Pennsylvania. But today...she is lying in a hospital in Columbus, GA. She is beginning the long process of recovery. The folks called today and although she sounded seriously intoxicated...she also sounded positive. She almost always does...positive...not intoxicated. (Seriously...this is my MOM we're talking about here...)
Her recovery won't be fun...but it will mean that I can start planning our next adventure. It is probably to California...I've already warned Uncle Harry. She will not want to hear that I have my travel agent cap on right now. In fact, she'd probably kick me with her good leg if I got close enough.
Anyway, recovery insinuates that there is a condition that we need to correct...something that must change...a desperate plea for something better for ourselves.
In my case, I've been recovering from my first 20 years of life for the past 26 and I'm making some progress. I suppose I broadened my horizons a bit, grew up a lot, and accepted that there are a lot of things I'll never do, a lot of blessings I don't deserve, and a lot of life that is still ahead. It's okay. I think everyone does this at some level or another. I just don't want to flog myself for something I can no longer change. It's pretty stupid to try, anyway.
So, as I sit here thinking about Mom, and about feeling better, I realize that recovery is one of those things that is an ongoing process. We're all in the process of recovering from something...a broken heart, a dream deferred, a physical malady, the pain of separation, the ache of loneliness, the memories that make us wince, or the cords of addiction. Something.
I think that God allows us to struggle so that we have a reason to seek each other out...you know...to minimize the trauma of it all. And laughter, appreciation, love and concern tie us so strongly together. We also tend to look UP instead of IN or OUT at some point...and for no other reason than that...our pain is somehow worth it in the end.
I hope that Mom recovers well...and I hope for any of you reading this in need of healing...that you will recover as well. Time and love can change most of what ails us...physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Here's to getting well soon...Later!